How Not to Get Jealous of Other Speakers

Last week I turned on Facebook, and found that a woman that I’ve been following, and who has been my peer and my friend, just got a new TV show.

I was happy for her. I really was.

But I have to admit that my first reaction was a gulp. And a sigh. And a twinge of jealousy.

I’ve been working hard! Why does she have a TV show and I don’t? Now, granted, I’m not even sure I would WANT a TV show, and I certainly haven’t been pursuing getting one, but that experience is quite common: when we are trying to grow our ministries, it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others who are doing something similar. And each time they succeed, it makes us feel that little bit more like failures.

The interesting thing is that we may even have succeeded in a key area–maybe we’re getting more bookings! But we hear someone who was just on the radio, and we think, “why aren’t I on the radio?” Suddenly our successes, even if we were happy about them, pale, because we’re looking at someone else.

I’m starting up my speaking training again, after a bit of a hiatus, and I thought one of the better places to begin was with this:

God has a plan for you. He has work that He has specifically prepared for you to do (Eph. 2:10). He has people that He has specifically put in your path because it is you He has designed to reach them.

God DOES have a plan for you.

So what is your role in all of this?

Listen to God. Be faithful with the gifts and blessings He has given you. If He’s given you money, invest in ministry. If He’s given you gifts, use them wisely. Don’t hide them. Be available. Serve Him.

But never, ever think that He is demanding a certain level of success from you. He is not angry if you haven’t progressed. He is not thinking “she shouldn’t be doing this.” He is happy when we try to spread His word!

That doesn’t mean He may not one day push you in a different direction. And some of us may only speak for a short period of our lives. But in God’s timing that is never wasted. He is using it.

Our focus, then, should always be on God and listening to Him, not on trying to attain some measure of success.

That doesn’t mean that we don’t aim to become more professional, or try to seek out better bookings. That’s part of being faithful with the gifts that He has given you. How will people hire us if we don’t get the word out? So, yes, we need to be learning about marketing and about being professional.

But there is no level of success that God says we must have in order to serve Him. And there is no level of success that says, “you have arrived. You’ve done good!” When we think there is, we’re measuring success in the world’s terms, and not in God’s terms.

I know it’s hard not to become jealous when other speakers seem to succeed so much more, and when other people get a ton of bookings and you just don’t. But that’s the time to go back to God and say, “is there something that you want me to learn in order to be a more effective speaker? Are there more risks you want me to take for you?” And if the answer is no, you’re perfectly okay.

There will ALWAYS be people who are more successful than us. Think of the most successful speaker you know: I am almost positive that she has a list a mile long of the things she should be doing to grow her influence and ministry, too. There’s always more we could be doing, and there always will be, until Christ returns. Until everybody has heard the message, and until everybody is completely transformed to look like Christ (Romans 8:29), there will always be more to do.

Think about it this way: Peter is so much better known than his brother Andrew. And yet if you read the Scriptures, you’ll find something interesting. The only times that Andrew is mentioned, he is bringing people to Jesus. That’s all he’s known for.

His ministry didn’t go down in history to the same extent that Peter’s did. Andrew didn’t preach on Pentecost and see 3000 saved; Peter did. But Andrew is still remembered today for bringing people to Jesus.

Lord, may that be true of us, too.

Want to hone your message so you’re sure you’re being effective in leading people to the foot of the cross? Crafting Your Signature Talk audio download takes you step by step through the process!

Use Your Words: How Effective is Social Media in Getting Speaking Engagements?

Every Tuesday when I’m not away speaking I try to host my Use Your Words BlogTalkRadio show at noon EST! And today’s topic was suggested by Jamie Blahun, who commented on my Facebook Page, asking how to manage the time that you spend on social media. You can listen to the thirty minute show right here.

Here are some highlights:

1. Think About Your Goal

If your goal is to get speaking engagements, then you need to devote your time online to the things that are most likely to do that. And remember the path that people usually take when booking a speaker:

• Someone’s name is suggested
• They Google that person
• They read their information and watch videos
• Then they contact them

In other words, the vast majority of speaking engagements will be secured because someone mentioned your name, and then they checked you out online.

If you do not have a good website that explains what you speak about, and that has a lot of photos of you speaking, it is unlikely you will be hired.

Thus, your main goal is to create a website that is likely to get you speaking engagements. The best way to do that is to create a high quality one that includes video, and to keep in contact through newsletters with people that have already heard you speak (so as to get referrals).

2. Facebook and Twitter are Really Peripheral to this

Yes, everyone needs to be on Facebook. Not everyone needs to be on Twitter. But when it comes to speaking engagements, if you have a limited amount of time to devote online, the priority really should be in getting your website top-notch and then in keeping in contact with people that you have spoken to through newsletters.

The problem with both Facebook and Twitter is that they are not geographically specific, and when you are looking to get speaking engagements, geography matters, especially when you’re starting out, because few churches have the money to fly someone in. So you want to get well known in a small geographical area. That’s not really Facebook and Twitter’s forte.

Does that mean that you can ignore them? No. But I certainly wouldn’t put so much time into Twitter and getting thousands of followers that I neglected to put up good videos on my website. Honestly, videos come first, along with keeping in touch with those who already know you. Getting to know strangers is helpful, but it’s secondary.

3. When You’re On Twitter and Facebook, Remember the Purpose

If you do want to spend time on Facebook and Twitter, make sure that you do so with an eye to creating your “brand”. If you want to be known as a women’s speaker about deep spiritual issues, don’t dedicate your Twitter feed to how hard it is to housetrain your new puppy. Don’t put lots up on Facebook about your family’s move, or the trouble you’re having with your new kitchen renovation. These things may be interesting to you, but they aren’t to people who don’t know you personally, and they will cause those people to tune you out.

The key to social media is not to confuse people. People will pay more careful attention to you if they know what you tend to talk about. They start to expect, “oh, she’ll have a pithy thing to say about doing your devotions”, or, “I know she’ll say something neat about prayer.” If you come out and talk politics, you’ll throw them off.

So stick to your brand, no matter how passionate  you are about other things. And then find other people who speak about the same things, and follow them and participate in conversations. As you grow relationships, you’re more likely to get recommendations.

4. Don’t Ignore LinkedIn

As we talked about last week on the show, LinkedIn can be  useful for getting to know people who work in women’s ministry and specifically want more women’s ministry ideas. If you can find groups on LinkedIn to join that have to do with evangelism to women, women’s ministry, women’s retreats, or anything like that, and then you participate in those conversations, you’ll get better known. But if the group is huge, and only two or three people ever participate anything, then chances are that group isn’t worth your time.

5. Set Parameters

Finally, take a look at your social media efforts and decide how much time it’s reasonable for you to spend a day. Then get a kitchen timer and set it for that amount of time, and count down. When you’re done, you’re done. No more feeling guilty.

Another thing that can help are the automatic scheduling programs. Hootsuite, for instance, can schedule your Tweets and Facebook updates to appear throughout the day, so you can schedule everything in the morning and then leave it for the day. That can save you tremendous time!

Look, everyone is on Facebook and Twitter and LinkedIn and Pinterest, but they’re on it for different reasons, and those reasons don’t always add up to helping you get speaking engagements. So judge what really would be the most useful, and what your goal is, and concentrate on the areas that will bring you the best rewards! Listen in the whole show here.

If you want some more help in marketing your speaking ministry, my teleseminar, Treating Speaking as a Business, helps you prioritize your efforts!

It’s a Busy New Year!

Hi all!

I’m sorry I’ve been so delinquent in posting, but I’ve been absolutely swamped the last few weeks getting ready for my book launch in February for The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. It’s coming out with Zondervan, and for the last week I’ve been doing the most awkward thing I have ever done in my speaking and writing life: I had to sit in a recording studio and read the whole book out loud. Complete with an explanation of male and female anatomy, and how things work, while a male tech guy (whom I know socially) listened to every word and stopped me if I got two quiet or flubbed up in some way. That was seriously weird.

Anyway, the book will be out in about five weeks, and I am very excited. But it’s meant that a lot of other things got put on the back burner, including this blog.

The good news is that I’m home now until mid-March, and even though I’ll be doing promotion for the book, I will be around. I’ll be able to do mundane things like actually cook for my family. I’ll be able to do my radio shows on Tuesdays about different speaking topics. And I’ll be here to help you!

What I’ve found with speaking is that my life tends to get very busy in spurts: I’ll have crazy months when I’m speaking almost every weekend, and then I’ll be off for a few weeks to rejuvenate. Typically, here in Canada where I live, I take off January and February, because no one plans events for the winter, anyway. Then March and April get crazy.

I find that a little difficult, because it’s hard to keep up with normal life, like grocery shopping, and cooking, and laundry, when some weeks you’re home, and some weeks you’re not. So I’m looking forward to being home a lot in the next little while, even if I am blogging like crazy.

This year coming up I’ve decided that I don’t like being gone every weekend in the spring, so I’m changing things up. I’m going to do four speaking tours a year–two in the spring and two in the fall–and I’m going to be home other than that. So I’ll likely be on the road about 50 days a year, but then the other days I’m completely here for my family. I’ve hired a booking agent to help me in this endeavor, but I think it’s going to work.

It’s not something I’d recommend until your schedule is so busy you can’t handle it anymore. But that’s where I was, and I knew something had to change.

So that’s what I’ve been up to. I promise to post more frequently, but for now, if you want some extra reading, here are some posts you may like:

How to Book a Speaking Tour (to go along with what I’ve been saying)

A Speaking Plan for the New Year (I wrote this last January, but it’s still relevant)

The Only Social Media Strategy that Works (if you’re taking the winter months to rev up your online presence, be sure to read this!)

Now it’s your turn: tell me how you handle being on the road. And let me know what you’re up to!

Use Your Words: Finding the Work/Life Balance

Well, somehow I got through another Use Your Words show with a throat that is absolutely killing me! So if I sounded funny, forgive me.

But today’s show was inspired by an email I received from Lisa, who said,

“how do you find the time for everything? How do you balance your work and your family? How do you figure out how to find time to market? I just feel like I never get anything done.”

I so feel your pain, Lisa. And so you can listen to the show right here. But here’s a synopsis for the rest of you:

1. Stop Apologizing for Your Ministry

When I started speaking and writing, I felt like it was something I was doing for me–stoking my own ego, so to speak. Therefore, I couldn’t take any time away from my daughters, or my home, or my marriage, or I was somehow cheating. I was being selfish. So the ministry came last. I had to make sure I was SuperMommy before I could go on the computer.

Stop it. If God is calling you to ministry, He wants you to take some time. You don’t have to apologize. You don’t have to compensate. You don’t have to work four times as hard in every other area of your life to get “permission” to do ministry. Ask for help, explain to your mate what you feel is your calling, talk to your friends about it, and stop feeling guilty.

2. Stop Apologizing to Yourself

But if we’re not feeling guilty for letting everyone else down, we often feel guilty for letting ourselves down. I should be accomplishing so much more, we think. I should be trying harder. I should be further ahead.

No. You do what you can, when you can. When my kids were young, I only had time to work while they napped. My ministry grew slowly. When they were older, I did what I could. I didn’t begin blogging or using social media until 2008, when they were able to do most of their homeschooling independently (they were 11 and 13 at the time). God may be calling you to something, but it may be something that grows slowly, in different stages of your life. That’s okay. Even in the beginning years, when you are busy with little ones, or in years when you’re busy taking care of older relatives, He’s still grooming you. He’s giving you great stories to tell one day! He’s giving you life experience. You can still read and learn and pray, even if you don’t do as much speaking now. That’s all right.

3. Stop Feeling Guilty About Not Keeping a Schedule

I used to feel guilty about not getting up at 6:30 to start my day off right. I have finally come to peace with the fact that I’m not a morning person. I often don’t go to sleep until 11:30 or midnight, so I”ll spend some “time” with my husband early in the evening, say from 10-11, and then he’ll go to sleep while I’m on my iPad until midnight, lying in bed beside him. That’s okay. I’m getting work done at night.

I also used to feel guilty because I read all these productivity magazine articles that said that I was supposed to have “work hours”. I tried that. It never worked. And I felt horrible about it. I tried working from 10-12, thinking that then I would get stuff done. But then we’d have doctor’s appointments, or Katie would need help with math, and I’d end up resenting he for it.

You need to do what works for you. I start a timer at the beginning of the day, and try to work for 2 1/2 hours on my big projects. I hit start, and get to work. When an interruption comes, I hit stop. And then when I sit back down, I hit start again. So over the day I’m trying to get to 2 1/2 hours. When I do get there, I stop. I go make dinner, or I relax, or I do something else.

I find working for 2 1/2 hours less stressful than saying, “I need to get this done today”, because then if you don’t get it doen you feel guilty. Instead, I do what I can in the hours that I have decided are reasonable.

One caveat: this doesn’t work well when you have small children. If you’re constantly trying to “snatch” time when there are preschoolers underfoot, you’ll end up resenting them because they’re always interrupting you. It’s better in that case to have time at night, when your husband has them, or to trade baby-sitting time with friends, or to work when they nap or when they watch a video (we used to save movies for when Mommy needed to work).

4. Figure out your main goal for the month

We all have endless to do lists on what we need to do to get our speaking ministry going. I need a better website. I need a Facebook page. I need to write my talk for the retreat. I need to send out my newsletter. I need to do this. Stop it. Just stop it. If you think in terms of your to-do list, you’ll never feel to done. You’ll always feel like you haven’t accomplished anything because there is always more to do.

Instead, think in terms of one or two big projects you want to work on this month. Maybe it’s getting an ebook together, or cold calling churches to book a speaking tour. Figure out your main goals (and if you have trouble focusing, my webinar, Treating Speaking Like a Business, gives you an amazing tool to figure out what is most useful for you to concentrate on, and what will most help your ministry). Then you’re focused, and the other stuff can get done later. You’ve taken care of the importan tthings.

Do these four things, and you’ll stop feeling so guilty! So listen in if you missed the show. And be sure to check out my webinar, Treating Speaking Like a Business!

Doing One Thing Well…

When we start speaking, we’re desperate for work. We feel a little overwhelmed by the whole process–does God really want to use me? Do I really have something to say? And the more we get into speaking, the more excited we get. Maybe I really can do this!

The problem is that that excitement often isn’t blended with anything resembling a practical gameplan. Let me share with you a bit of my story to show you what I mean.

Many speakers are both speakers and writers. We’re essentially communicators, and we want to share the message that we believe God has given us. When I began speaking, I was mostly speaking to moms with young children. And I was also writing a column in a secular paper. I was writing for Christian magazines. I was writing books. I was sending out reprint requests to magazines all over North America to try to sell my previously published articles. I was speaking to MOPs groups.

And I’d talk to other speakers and writers and find out what they were doing, and I’d think, that’s such a good idea! I should do that, too!

What I found was that I was very busy, but I wasn’t focused. I was doing everything and anything.

And one day I realized, I can’t keep this up. I can’t go in 100 different directions. I have to figure out what specifically God is calling me to. These are the questions I asked myself to help me move in that direction:

1. What are my SPECIFIC giftings?

Obviously I can write, and I can speak. But many people can. What specifically was I good at? I realized that I was good at delivering a heartfelt message while still making people laugh. And that wasn’t limited to moms with young kids at home. It was to all women.

2. What are my specific interests?

I realized I wanted to keep speaking more than I wanted to write. Writing was interesting, but it was speaking that gave me energy.

3. Do I have a unique way of reaching the lost?

My column in the secular paper was very widely read, and it was my method of injecting some “Judeo-Christian” values into current debates. No matter what I gave up, I wasn’t going to give up that.

4. What is my long term goal?

I wanted to speak to large groups of women, and I wanted to write royalty books.

Once I figured all that out, it helped me plan my work schedule. I realized that all the writing I was doing for magazines wasn’t really part of my long-term aspirations. Ironically, that was what paid the best at the time. But it took precious work hours away from marketing my speaking, developing talks, and figuring out new books to write.

Now, of course, once you write books you have to publish articles to promote those books. I haven’t given up on writing articles altogether. But I now do it strategically, rather than all the time.

So if you’re trying to figure out what to focus on, because you’re going in many different directions, ask yourself: where is your ministry going?  Who is my MAIN target? Where will I get most of my income? Where is the most likely place where I can grow my business?

Answer those questions, and then make sure you’re spending 90% of your time chasing that market. Sure, there are other things we could be doing. I could write secular books. I could write magazine articles. I could ghost write. But I don’t do those things because it’s not my MAIN niche.

You have to figure out what your niche is and then work it hard. You want to be a big fish in a small pond, so figure out where your pond is and then work so that everyone in that pond has heard of you.

We all have many things we could be doing, but that doesn’t mean that all of them will contribute to your ultimate goals. Figure out what those goals are, and then WORK THOSE GOALS. Try to hit the bullseye.

I don’t have a lot of time to work. I homeschool my two teenaged daughters. I run a youth program at our church. I organize my extended family. I can’t write and speak full-time. I only have about two or three hours a day where I can really work. So I want to make sure those hours count.

You’re probably like me, and your hours are few and fleeting. Make them count. Focus on where you want to grow, and then work that area hard. Don’t try to do everything. You’ll find yourself much further ahead towards your goals if you think and work more strategically!

If you want more information on how to set goals and work them, my download How to Treat Speaking Like a Business will help.

How to Create a Platform for Your Ministry

photo © 2008 daretoeatapeach | more info (via: Wylio)

Platform. It’s a word we hear all the time in the speaking/writing business, but what does it really mean?

Today on my Use Your Words BlogTalkRadio show I talked about platform: the best ways to build one, and what’s really important. Listen in to that show here! Tons of great information.

But let me sum up.

A platform is usually defined as:

The number of people who interact with you; it’s usually expressed as a number, and it encompasses the number of people who hear you speak each year; the number of people who visit your website every week; the number of followers you have on your Facebook account/Facebook page, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.; the number of people who watch you on TV or listen to you on the radio; and the number of people on your email list.

That sounds daunting I know, but add all those things up and you can get a number. That’s the number that publishers, for instance, want to see in any book proposal.

The problem is: if you are starting out, where do you concentrate on building your platform? Are there some that are more useful than others?

Definitely. In fact, I would prefer that people defined platform more like this:

The number of people who visit you regularly and who interact with you and who are interested in what you have to say.

I know people with thousands upon thousands of followers on Twitter, but they aren’t targeted followers. They aren’t specifically in their niche, and so they do little for them. It’s better to have people who are excited about you! So let’s look at platform building from the two different sides: Authors and Speakers.

How Authors should Build Platforms

While speaking definitely builds platform, it does it in a limited way. First, it tends to be limited by geography; we tend to start speaking closer to home because that’s where we’re known. It’s hard to get known across the country speaking when your’e just starting out.

So for authors working on a platform, the place to really concentrate is on building an online community, which can reach anyone, and building for radio and television appearances.

Online, remember that Facebook and Twitter and blogs all work together. Twitter sends people to your blog. Blogs provide the content. And people talk about that blog on Facebook! I find Twitter a good place to meet new people in my niche, but in the end, Facebook sends way more people to my blog than Twitter does. It’s much more effective. So work on getting a Facebook Page set up, and make sure to link it to your blog.

And on your blog, write quality content that is specific to your niche. If you’re writing about parenting, don’t go off on politics. Stick to your defined category, so that people know who you are and what to expect. That keeps people coming back for more!

This seems like a lot of work, and if the idea of starting a blog or a Facebook Page sounds daunting, and you don’t know what Twitter is, my audio download “Build Your Online Community” can help. I also have a much more in-depth e-course on how to Build Your Online Community, which is 4 modules long and ends with how to throw an online party for your book (mine brought in $1000 in sales in one day).

How a Speaker Builds a Platform

For speakers, online communities are not quite as important. You’re not trying to sell a book; you’re trying to get speaking engagements. For you, then, the emphasis is different.

Nevertheless, you still need a website! As we talked about last week, before anyone hires you they will look at your website. So have a place where you list your topics and post any videos.

The next best thing you can do to build your platform is simply to network. It is much easier to get hired to speak if people know who you are. So go out to the fundraisers for Christian radio or TV in your area. Get to know these people! Join community-wide committees for Christian ministries. Form a group of ministry leaders that goes out to breakfast once a month. Attend writers or speakers conferences. The best networking I have done is at our annual writers’ conference, where I met my current agent, and the guy who books my speaking engagements, and lots of TV personalities.

Whether you’re a speaker or a writer, having people who you’re engaged with on a regular basis will help you grow your ministry! So keep track of key people. Send out email newsletters. And make sure your website is top notch! That will help you get better known, and help people remember your name when they’re standing in a bookstore, or when they’re thinking of who to hire for their Christmas outreach!

If you want to hear more about this subject, don’t forget to listen in to the show, where I go much more in-depth!

And if you have other things you want me to talk about it in Use Your Words, leave some ideas in the comments! I’m here to help you!

Prioritizing Your List: How Do I Know Where to Focus My Efforts?

photo © 2007 sunshinecity | more info (via: Wylio)
I’m an ideas person. When an idea strikes me, I get so excited about it! Unfortunately, about five minutes later I’ll get another idea, and I’ll get excited about it, too!

So which should I do first? And how do I decide?

Over the years that I’ve been trying to build my speaking ministry, one of the hardest things was feeling guilty about all the things I COULD be doing, but wasn’t. I knew blogging would help my name recognition, but it took me years to start. I knew I could self-publish a book, but it took a long time to get around to it. I knew I should join more networks online, but I didn’t have time.

The more ideas I came up with, the more guilty I felt.

Then I developed a tool that helped me rank my ideas to see which ones were actually worth pursuing. After all, not all ideas are equally good. I decided to rate everything on four different scales, based on how much time they would take to completion, how much money they would cost to complete, how much money they would bring in, how much they would add to my name recognition/platform, and how much they would contribute to expanding God’s kingdom.

I added a few more metrics in there, and then weighted each category. Thus, something that cost no money and was relatively fast to do would rank higher than something that cost a ton of money and took a ton of time, if each contributed to name recognition roughly the same.

When I filled out the sheet, I was initially surprised. I thought I should be self-publishing a book; what this sheet told me was that I should start speaker training instead (which is why I’m here, on this blog!). I thought I should do more with LinkedIn; it turned out that blogging was more effective for me.

I decided other people may find that worksheet helpful, so I turned it into an Excel spreadsheet, and I include it with my audio download, “Treating Speaking as a Business“. When you order that talk, you get the tool free.

And recently Julie Chandler, one of my “speaking students” whom I also met while I was on tour in Alberta recently, sent me an email explaining how it had helped her. She says:

This is what I did with my list on the Time Management worksheet…I’m a visual person, so after I numbered them in order of importance, I put them in this form and printed it out.  I also put sticky notes on each section from an average of 35 minutes/day to the bottom average of 5 minutes/day.  It helps me to remember what to focus on…for results.
 
What I learned:  I’ve been spending too much time on twitter for the results.  (I purchased a tweet program a while ago, so I’ll just automate many of tweets…)  I was also sure I should/would go to one or two conferences in the States this year.  But, now that I look at this (I’ll need to pray, but…) I’m thinking it may be better to focus on a little networking here in Calgary, work on an e-book and possibly start up my show on blogtalkradio again!!!
 
Thanks so so much!  I feel much more settled now.  That Time Management chart is a great way to organize all the thoughts I have had about what I could/should/want to be doing.

 Julie, who wrote Orphans and the Fatherless, has now redesigned her priorities. Here they are from 1-15 (some tied):

1.  create cds (of talks)
2.  speaking
3.  prayer page – facebook or…
4.  radio interviews
5.  write talks
6.  podcast interviews
7.  TV interviews
8.  telephone calls to libraries etc…
8.  go to conferences in Canada (Calgary)
9.  create my website
10.  strategic alliances
11.  get in Christian newspapers
11.  write “how to” e-book — ie. fundraising
12.  speaker training
12.  update O. website
13.  Networking ie. breakfast
13.  host a podcast
14.  write book (takes some research)
15.  do contests
15.  “blog tour”

If you’re struggling with where to focus your limited time, this tool is so valuable! It puts things right there in black and white for you, so that you know whether something is worthwhile or not. And it helps you focus on the areas that can be most effective for the least amoung of money/time.

You can get all of that for free when you order the download, “Treating Speaking as a Business“. So check it out! And I hope it helps you as it helped Julie.

Use Your Words: Clarifying Your Goals

Every Tuesday I’m on the Christian Women Affiliate radio network on BlogTalkRadio to talk about building your speaking ministry! You can listen for FREE, so do tune in, or listen after the fact to the archives.

You can find this week’s show here.

Here’s the low-down on this week’s show!

Basically, you need to know where you’re going, or what you’re aiming for, before you launch, or it’s hard to measure how you’re going to get there.

And we can measure our goals in three areas: financial, professional, and spiritual. Let’s take them one at a time.

1. Financial Goals

There is nothing wrong with having to make money. Many of us need to contribute to the family income simply because the economy is bad. We’d love to speak, whether or not we were getting paid, and we’d love to just serve God, but we need money. And we can’t dedicate the kind of hours we need to to have an effective speaking ministry unless we’re making an income. Otherwise we’ll have to get a job elsewhere.

So understand what you do need to earn in terms of income, and then figure out how many speaking engagements this represents. And a little warning: it’s very hard to make $50,000 a year speaking, especially when you’re just starting out. If you charge $300 for an evening, and $600 for a Saturday, you’re going to have to speak every single Saturday during the year, and then 60 more evenings, to even reach that goal. Nobody can do that. It’s too much and it will burn you out.

You can make that kind of money if you’re selling a lot on your book table, and if you get good enough to raise your fees. But just be careful that you’re not launching into speaking thinking that it can deliver an income to you which is unrealistic. Some people think, “if I can charge $300 for an evening, then it’s like I’m making $300 an hour!” Don’t think of it like that. That $300 has to cover your prep, your travel, your networking, and your speaking.

Also factor in expenses, and charge them separately. If you have to pay for a hotel, or pay $150 for gas, driving four hours there and back, then $300 isn’t enough. You’ll start to wonder why you seem to be making no money at all (and that’s because you’re not!).

If income is an issue, think of easier ways to make it! Write magazine articles, or write for websites. Write for parenting magazines. Write for charities, or write on contract for non-profit organizations. It’s okay to need to make money!

2. Professional Goals

I decided early in my writing career that I wanted to write a book. But I knew that finding a publisher was going to be difficult, especially since I didn’t have any published credits to my name. So for four years I invested in writing magazine articles for some of the biggest Christian publications. Then, when I approached book publishers, I had something to share with them.

If you want to reach a certain niche, or if you want to publish a book or start speaking at a certain conference, remember that there are often several steps you need to take first in order to get there. If you want to speak for women on depression, for instance, it’s easier to speak to women in general for a few  years first, and get well-known, before you try to hit that target niche. Speaking to a niche market is hard enough; you won’t get hired until people have heard of you first.

Similarly, if you want to publish a book eventually, it’s better to take three or four years to build your platform. Get well-known on the internet. Start speaking. Invest in the kind of things that give you name-recognition.

Note that this building period may be not what you envisioned. It may feel as if you’re not pursuing your goals; but you are. Just break them down a little bit.

When I made the decision to write a book, my income actually dropped. I was making more money writing magazine articles than I ever did writing my first few books. But I wanted to go in that direction so that I could build a speaking ministry. So I sacrificed a little bit, for a few years, so that I could get where I wanted to be.

3. Spiritual Goals

Always keep in mind the REASON that you are speaking and writing. God may bless some of us to become wildly well-known; most of us will not. In the end it’s His decision. But what you don’t want to do is to spend a lot of time and energy being tremendously successful at something that doesn’t matter.

There are ways that we can speak and write that may make us more popular. We can compromise on certain issues. We can become flashier or edgier. We can become more politically correct.

Don’t water anything down. Certainly we need to be culturally relevant, but always keep in mind the main reason that God has put you in this ministry. What is the message that He wants you to share? And then keep coming back to that message. Let it resonate out of every pore of your being. When you are doing that, your ministry will be so much more effective!

If you want to listen to me dive deeper into this subject, listen in to the radio show here.

And if you want to go even deeper into how to think about goals, and how to clarify where you should be putting your efforts, my download “Treating Speaking as a Business” will help you tremendously! It comes complete with a handout that helps you clarify your goals, and assign them priority numbers (in fact, it does it for you!). It couldn’t be easier, and it will save you time and money. Find the download here.

Accepting Where You are in Your Ministry

This morning, for my mom blog, I wrote a post about accepting where you are, and not berating yourself for not reaching goals.

I thought it was a message we speakers needed to hear, too.

Many years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I made some career goals for myself. One in particular I was supposed to have attained when I hit 40.

Guess what? It’s not going to happen. For years I was trying to twist myself into a pretzel to try to shortcut my way to that goal, so that when my 41st birthday hit I would have done it. But no matter what I do at this point I won’t have time to meet that goal. It’s fallen by the wayside.

I’ve realized that the issue isn’t whether or not I meet the goal; the issue is whether or not I am at peace about not meeting that goal.

We women just don’t tend to like ourselves. We can see all our shortcomings, and we feel as if we should be pushing ourselves, beating ourselves, forcing ourselves to change and be different. Our ministries should have grown more by now. We should have more bookings. I promised myself if I started speaking I wouldn’t be a drain on the family, and I should have arrived further by now.

Or perhaps the issues are more personal: We shouldn’t be this heavy; we should exercise more, lose weight, eat less. We shouldn’t be this shy; we should have more friends, more social engagements, more people over to dinner.

Do all those “shoulds” help you actually accomplish anything? Or do they just paralyze you?

I find so often that when we set up goals for ourselves, we just end up paralyzed, unable to move forward, because we feel overwhelmed and guilty. I know goal setting can be important, and some goals are worthy. But not all goals are.

Let’s go back to my professional goal that I had for myself at 40. I wanted to have created several entrepreneurial enterprises which would have brought in a certain dollar figure in income. Do you know why I won’t meet that goal? It’s because since I made that goal, my life has changed. I decided to homeschool my children. I decided to work with the youth of our church. I decided to do more at home to support my husband’s career, because our life was becoming too busy. I made decisions that were smart for my family, but those decisions made that goal pretty much impossible to attain. Usually the reason that we haven’t met a goal in our lives is not because we’re lazy and undisciplined; often it’s because we have used our time to do something else. We have decided that something else is momentarily more important than that goal.

You may feel called to speaking, but if you haven’t built a huge website yet, if you haven’t created that video, if you haven’t built a huge following on Facebook, does that mean that you have somehow failed? Does it mean that you weren’t serious about your goal?

I spent three years feeling guilty about not starting a blog. I knew I had to blog; I knew I had to build my platform on the internet, but I didn’t do it, and no amount of feeling guilty about it made me do it. When I finally launched it, I realized why it was smart that I had waited. It takes a lot of time to blog consistently and to write interesting posts. And during those three years I had other things to do. I was homeschooling my kids. I was trying to juggle making good meals with all the time I needed to spend with them and still write my column and write magazine articles.

Was my goal good? Sure. But there were other things that were more important, and I do not have a limitless amount of time. When my children stopped taking as much time to homeschool, because they could do more on their own, I suddenly had time to blog.

Here’s the truth: we cannot do everything. We cannot grow our online presence, and generate tons of speaking engagements, and keep our part-time job, and maintain the perfect body, and maintain a perfect home, and spend tons of time with the kids, and have romantic getaways with our husbands, and create small businesses to make income for our families. We just can’t. Why not instead talk to God about what is good enough in each of those areas of your life? And then accept the good enough; don’t keep feeling badly that you’re not doing more.

Of course, many of us aren’t getting important things done because we waste time. We spend too much time in front of the TV, or the computer, or on the phone. If that’s the case, then maybe you need to re-evaluate. You certainly don’t want television to keep you from attaining an important goal in your family. But many of us don’t have that many hours, even if we wanted to find them. They’re already being used. And we still, after all, do need downtime.

I think we are completely unrealistic about what is possible for us to accomplish in this life. Everything comes with a price, and if you’re not willing to pay the price, then that’s okay. But don’t just say, “I don’t have time to do this,” and then continue to feel guilty. Say, “I don’t have time to reach this goal,” and then accept it. Accept who you are right now, even with your limitations, because you are doing the best you can. And your best is always good enough.

Isn’t that what we tell our children? We don’t care what they get on the test, as long as they tried their best. If they get a 95% but they didn’t try, we’d be unhappy. But if they got a 65% and that genuinely was their best, then that’s okay. We’d get them some more help, but we wouldn’t be angry.

So why be angry at ourselves? If we’re doing our best, and we’re talking to God about how to prioritize our lives, and we’re talking to our husbands about our lives, then let’s give ourselves a break. We’re doing what we can do, and in this season of our life, this is the best we can offer. Don’t compare yourself to someone with more time, more money, or more energy, because that is not how God made you. Just be the best of who you were made to be, and whatever that is, that is okay. And God will bless you and open doors when you are being responsible in all areas of your life. Do what you can, and God will bless your efforts, even if they’re meager. When you’re in a position to make more effort, your ministry may grow more.

But if you’re not in that position now, don’t feel badly about it. Do what you can, and that is enough. The rest is up to God.

Wouldn’t that feel so much better?

If you want to keep talking about these sorts of issues, do join our Facebook group!

How to Write a Book Proposal

Photo by pedrosimoes7

So many of my followers on Facebook and Twitter have been reporting the various stages their book proposals are in, so I thought it was high time that I share with you how to write a book proposal! I’ve written about six in my life, and three have been accepted and published, and the others are with publishers right now. So it is something I’ve done successfully (and I hope to have good news to announce soon on a 2-book deal), and I’m going to share with you what I have found goes into a good proposal.

What Publishers are Looking for

My agent told me recently that publishers are interested in three things:

1. Writing Ability
2. Strong Idea
3. Platform (ability to sell the book)

Guess which one matters least? Writing ability! It’s great if you can write, but the world is full of talented editors and ghost writers. If you have a stellar idea, one that has been done before, but which catches the imagination or which speaks to this generation in a unique way, that’s what’s important! And if you have the platform to sell the book, whether it’s through a strong internet presence, media presence, or speaking engagements, then you’re attractive to publish, even if you don’t write well.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t write your proposal well or work on your craft. It’s just that you must think like a publisher when they’re reading you book proposal. They’re asking themselves: Can I sell this? Does this author have the ability to sell this? They’re not really asking if you can write. Not anymore. Sounds cynical, but it’s true. So with that in mind, you need to slant your whole book proposal to show that this is an idea that has merit, that it resonates with people, and that you have the ability and the dedicaton to sell it.

What a Book Proposal Is For

A book proposal is not a book. It is simply a proposal to write a book. It is an outline of a book, a description of that book, a market analysis of what’s already out there and where this book would fit, and a marketing plan. It’s also a profile of the author. It’s there so that the publisher can scan it quickly to see whether it has merit. Send a book that the publisher has to read dozens of pages for before they can make up their minds and it’s doubtful it will even get looked at. Publishers don’t have time. You send a proposal so that publishers can skim.

With that in mind, let’s look at the main elements for a book proposal. You can follow this outline pretty much exactly. Where I’ve said Main Heading, simply make that a main heading, and then use sub-headings for the rest. Here we go:

Main Heading: Overview
1 – 1 1/2 pages in length.

Here’s where you sell your book! You’re going to spend a page to a page and a half describing what your book is about, what makes it unique, and how you will sell it! You’ll expand on all of this later, but here’s where your writing skills will come into play. Write this well, and you’ve got them hooked.

Open with a compelling or funny anecdote about the problem that your book is addressing, or the main element of your plotline (if you’re writing a novel). Make them WANT to keep reading. Don’t open with “my book will address this problem”. Open with the problem: 15,000 people a year die from addiction to Diet Pepsi, or whatever it may be. Or tell a funny story.

Then on to outline your book. Can you describe your book in a sentence? In a paragraph? You should be able to, because once it’s written, you’re going to need to in all of the publicity.

Here’s my sentence for my first book:

To Love, Honor and Vacuum is for all those exhausted women who feel more like maids than wives and mothers.

See? Or how about this one:

It’s 10 p.m. He wants to start snuggling. She wants to start snoring. Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight will help women break this impasse–and have fun along the way!

What you’re doing here is addressing the main problem that people who buy your book will have, and showing how your book fixes this problem. Don’t describe your book; describe the benefits that your book brings. If it’s a novel, describe the voice that you speak from, and the feeling that the reader will get from reading the book.

Heading 2: Description
1 1/2 – 3 pages

Next, you’ll start the description part of the book proposal. This may not sound that different from the overview, but you’ll go into greater detail. You’re not trying to be attention grabbing or cute in this section; you’re trying to help them picture what the structure of the book will be like.

Most books are divided into sections. If so, your description can have three headings, for the three sections (or whatever is applicable). Show which chapters go with which, such as this one for my book Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight:

Subheadings based on sections, like this:

How We Think of Sex (chapters 1-2)
How We Change Ourselves (chapters 3-4)
How We Change Our Relationships (chapters 5-8)
How We Address Specific Issues (chapters 9-10)

I think I called those sections something cuter, but that gives you a sense of it. Then, under each description, very briefly describe how you’re going to deal with the issue. Will you use mostly anecdotes? Do you have experts you’re going to interview? What works will you cite? What are the problems you’ll address?

Subheading: Extras
At the end of the description section, relate any “extras” that will be in your book. Do you have an appendix where you’ll include your survey results? Do you have questions at the end of each chapter to use as a Bible study (that’s a big plus today!). Do you have little tips you’ll be including in boxes throughout the book, offset from the text? Talk about these!

Subheading: Spin-off Products
Can your book be spun into a movie? Into a screenplay? Can you write a workbook for it? Does it lend itself to a calendar? Don’t just name every possible spin-off; only the plausible ones here.

Heading: Market Analysis

Subheading: Competition
Here’s the tough part: where does your book fit into the current market? You’ll need to include some books that your book resembles, and then tell why yours is better. So do your research! Get on the internet and look at other books written in your field. How is your book different? How does it solve a different problem? Does it complement this book? It’s not always bad to have a book that is similar but not completely the same, because if that book sold really well, and you can piggy-back on it, then your book will look more attractive!

Subheading: Primary Market
Next tell who your primary market for the book is, as specifically as possible. Don’t just say “Christian women”, say Christian women, from 25-40, who are married with children at home and attend an evangelical church”. Really break it down so that they know who your target is.

Subheading: Secondary Market
Are there other groups your book will fit with that will be easy to market to? For instance, you may think your book will sell great with Catholics, too, but evangelical publishers have troubles selling in the Catholic market, so that may not be the best one to mention. But if you think your book could sell well at Christian camps, or at marriage conferences, or as a study book for women’s Bible studies, mention this under “Secondary Markets”.

Heading: Marketing Plan

Here’s where you come in! What are you going to do to sell this book? This is often the section of the proposal that sells it to the publishers. If you can make a realistic marketing plan that shows that you are dedicated to doing the work that sells the book, then you’re much more attractive.

And what goes into a marketing plan? Don’t say that you’re willing to do book signings. Everybody does book signings, and they don’t sell that many books. Talk about what events you’ll create that you’ll talk to bookstores about, like “Girls Night Out” events where women come to scrapbook and hear a reading, or “Mommy’s Corner”, where moms bring their little ones for a story time.

And what are you willing to do online? Do you already have a buzzing website? Do you already have a blog that attracts a bunch of readers, or a Facebook Page where people stop by religiously everyday? Are you on Twitter? Do you have connections with some of the big websites in your niche, where you can guest post? Write these all out.

I can’t list all the ideas (I’d need a separate blog post for this), but here are some possible sub-headings you can use to fill in:

• Website Marketing
• Social Media Marketing (including Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc.)
• Bookstore Events
• Media Blitz (what radio stations and TV Stations you’ll contact)
• Speaking Engagements
• Book Reviews

Under each sub-heading, don’t just say that you will contact magazines for book reviews. Talk about the magazines you already have a working relationship with, or the websites that you already have built up friendships with, to show that you have an “in”. Everybody is competing for space, and if you can show why it’s more likely that you’ll be granted space, you’re much more likely to be believed!

Heading: About the Author
1 Page

Brag about yourself for one page! Talk about who you are, what you’ve done, what credentials you have to write this book, what marketing you’ve already been involved in, and what you’ve already written. Make it personable.

Heading: Chapter by Chapter Outline
1 page per chapter

Now you provide the outline, chapter by chapter, for your whole book. I find this part challenging, because it’s hard to write an outline for a book you haven’t written yet. How do you know what will go in each chapter? But try your best to make it compelling, and include short anecdotes to open each chapter outline, if applicable.

Heading: Sample Chapters
Include 2-3 sample chapters, usually near the beginning of the book, and usually consecutive, so publishers can get a sense of how it reads.

And that’s it! Sounds like a lot of work, doesn’t it? It is! It’s almost as hard as writing the book! But do it right, and by the time you sit down to write the book you’ll be much more focused. You’ve already thought about how the book will be positioned to sell. You’ve thought about what the real message of the book is, and what benefits it brings to the reader. You’ve summed it up in one sentence. You know what your different sections are. And now, when you put it all together, it flows better!

If you’re finding this intimidating, you can get more information on writing a book proposal from Michael Larsen’s excellent how-to book. But know that you can do it!

Create an idea that excites and has merit, and build yourself a platform so that you can show the publisher you have something to offer. Once you’ve done that, you’re ready to tackle the book proposal!

And if you need to know where to send it, Sally Stuart’s Christian Writer’s Market Guide lists all Christian publishers in North America (and some elsewhere). It’s a wonderful resource.

You’ve got all you need now. So go to it!