How Not to Get Jealous of Other Speakers

Last week I turned on Facebook, and found that a woman that I’ve been following, and who has been my peer and my friend, just got a new TV show.

I was happy for her. I really was.

But I have to admit that my first reaction was a gulp. And a sigh. And a twinge of jealousy.

I’ve been working hard! Why does she have a TV show and I don’t? Now, granted, I’m not even sure I would WANT a TV show, and I certainly haven’t been pursuing getting one, but that experience is quite common: when we are trying to grow our ministries, it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others who are doing something similar. And each time they succeed, it makes us feel that little bit more like failures.

The interesting thing is that we may even have succeeded in a key area–maybe we’re getting more bookings! But we hear someone who was just on the radio, and we think, “why aren’t I on the radio?” Suddenly our successes, even if we were happy about them, pale, because we’re looking at someone else.

I’m starting up my speaking training again, after a bit of a hiatus, and I thought one of the better places to begin was with this:

God has a plan for you. He has work that He has specifically prepared for you to do (Eph. 2:10). He has people that He has specifically put in your path because it is you He has designed to reach them.

God DOES have a plan for you.

So what is your role in all of this?

Listen to God. Be faithful with the gifts and blessings He has given you. If He’s given you money, invest in ministry. If He’s given you gifts, use them wisely. Don’t hide them. Be available. Serve Him.

But never, ever think that He is demanding a certain level of success from you. He is not angry if you haven’t progressed. He is not thinking “she shouldn’t be doing this.” He is happy when we try to spread His word!

That doesn’t mean He may not one day push you in a different direction. And some of us may only speak for a short period of our lives. But in God’s timing that is never wasted. He is using it.

Our focus, then, should always be on God and listening to Him, not on trying to attain some measure of success.

That doesn’t mean that we don’t aim to become more professional, or try to seek out better bookings. That’s part of being faithful with the gifts that He has given you. How will people hire us if we don’t get the word out? So, yes, we need to be learning about marketing and about being professional.

But there is no level of success that God says we must have in order to serve Him. And there is no level of success that says, “you have arrived. You’ve done good!” When we think there is, we’re measuring success in the world’s terms, and not in God’s terms.

I know it’s hard not to become jealous when other speakers seem to succeed so much more, and when other people get a ton of bookings and you just don’t. But that’s the time to go back to God and say, “is there something that you want me to learn in order to be a more effective speaker? Are there more risks you want me to take for you?” And if the answer is no, you’re perfectly okay.

There will ALWAYS be people who are more successful than us. Think of the most successful speaker you know: I am almost positive that she has a list a mile long of the things she should be doing to grow her influence and ministry, too. There’s always more we could be doing, and there always will be, until Christ returns. Until everybody has heard the message, and until everybody is completely transformed to look like Christ (Romans 8:29), there will always be more to do.

Think about it this way: Peter is so much better known than his brother Andrew. And yet if you read the Scriptures, you’ll find something interesting. The only times that Andrew is mentioned, he is bringing people to Jesus. That’s all he’s known for.

His ministry didn’t go down in history to the same extent that Peter’s did. Andrew didn’t preach on Pentecost and see 3000 saved; Peter did. But Andrew is still remembered today for bringing people to Jesus.

Lord, may that be true of us, too.

Want to hone your message so you’re sure you’re being effective in leading people to the foot of the cross? Crafting Your Signature Talk audio download takes you step by step through the process!

5 Ways to Make the Most of your First Speaking Engagement

 

So you’ve been working hard and you’ve landed your first speaking engagement! You’re so excited, but you’re scared at the same time. Will you make a fool out of yourself? Will people like you?

If you want to grow your speaking ministry, then you’ll also want to make the most out of this speaking engagement, so that it will spread word of mouth about you, and help you to garner even more engagements. You don’t want to speak once and then be back where you started: with no prospects in sight.

So here are steps to take to make sure you grow buzz about your speaking ministry:

1. Give a GREAT Talk

That’s the hard part, I know, but you’ve been building towards this for a while. You deserve to give it your absolute best shot.

And don’t be too nervous about it. Remember that chances are most of the audience won’t know it’s your first engagement. Don’t volunteer that bit of information, either, or else they’ll start getting nervous for you. Just walk up there, with confidence, knowing that God has put you here.

And how do you give a great talk? You don’t want to preach at your audience; you want to take them on a journey so they’re ready to hear your central message, and they’re ready to listen to God. Telling them a bunch of facts won’t work; connecting on both an intellectual and emotional level will. If you’re unsure of how to do this, I have an audio download, with a great handout, that will take you step by step in how to prepare a talk. It’s almost a fill-in-the-blanks thing, and will help you identify your central, unique message. Find out more with this audio download, Craft Your Signature Talk.

2. Record Yourself

In the future, you’re going to get speaking engagements through word of mouth, and that’s going to work best when women’s ministry leaders who may hire you can actually “hear” you. So record yourself. Later, you can use that recording to make a 2-3 minute video and audio clip to put on your website.

Don’t worry if you don’t know how to do that. Don’t even worry if you don’t have a website yet. Just record yourself, and then when you are ready, you’ll have something to work with. But if you don’t record yourself now, you can’t get that opportunity back.

Here’s a great recorder that works for me. You’ll need an external microphone, too, to pick up your voice the best.

3. Collect Email Addresses

Hold a draw for a prize, or something, and ask people to fill out a ballot with their name on it. Provide a box they can check if they want your newsletter about (whatever your main message is). Don’t just offer your newsletter; few will take it. But if you present it like this:

• Monthly Newsletter with Devotional
• Monthly Ezine on Christian friendship
• Monthly Ezine with Mom Tips
• Monthly Ezine with God’s Encouragement

Or whatever may be relevant in your case, more people will check the box. With this method, you’ll likely get about 30% of people signing up for your newsletter, which isn’t bad. You don’t want people to HAVE to enter their email address to win, though, because it’s more likely they’ll treat your emails as spam.

4. Take Pictures

Hand your camera to someone who looks like they know how to use it, and ask them to take as many pictures as they can while you’re up there. Take pictures around the table, too. Just take as many as you can, because you can use these later on Facebook, on a blog, on your website, or even on promotional materials.

5. Get testimonials

If anyone tells you that they really enjoyed you, ask if they’d mind emailing that to you. Or ask for their email address, and then email them afterwards and ask if you can quote them on that.

Send an email to the person who organized the event, and ask her for her feedback. The more testimonials you have, the better it will be for your website!

Even if you don’t have all the pieces in place yet to promote yourself, if you follow these steps, then when you do have a website running, and a newsletter running, and a Facebook presence, you’ll have content. So don’t ignore these beginning engagements. Use them for all you can get out of them! And remember: God is opening doors. Step through them!

Faithful Steps to Becoming a Faithful Speaker

I’m taking some time off this summer, and I’ve invited people to send in guest posts about where they are on their speaking journey. Angela Mackey from Rethinking My Thinking shared this with me, and I thought it would really help you, too!

In junior high I had trouble standing up in front of class to give an oral report. In high school I decided to join the debate and speech teams because I had something to say and in tournaments judges have to listen. I never practiced enough and I rarely put in the work necessary to do well. I did mediocre and I moved on.

In college I began to feel the pull to speak. During chapels (I went to a private school), I decided I wanted to be on stage. I wanted to speak to others about God, but I didn’t imagine that would fit with my nursing degree very well.

After I graduated and married, the hunger to speak and teach about God grew. Yet it felt far away. I facilitated a few Bible Studies and ended up helping lead a MOPS group for six years. That is where the speaking bug got me good. I led Bible Studies, book studies, and spoke on a few topics that I felt qualified to speak on. Each time I stood up in front of those women, I felt God’s smile on me.

When it was time to step out of MOPS, I did it with trepidation. Yes I wanted to expand my speaking platform, but I was giving up a guaranteed gig. The growing pains and fear of the unknown shocked me, but I stepped out in obedience to God.

God gave me opportunities where I already was involved. I worked with the fifth and sixth graders at my church. God opened the door for me to speak to this group about once a month during the school year. Doors began to open and shut. God gave me steps to take each day, one after the other. As I obeyed He provided opportunities.

Here are some steps I took:

• I began a newsletter that I mail three times a year to women’s ministry directors at churches in my area.
• I e-mailed MOPS groups in my area and offered myself as a speaker.
• I started a blog that is also my website.
• I started a YouTube channel for video blogs and speaking excerpts.
• I recorded myself while I spoke and edited the video so I have excerpts of talks on the web.
• I asked for people to give me written referrals to include on my website and bio sheet.
• I started a Twitter account. When I tweeted about a speaking excerpt I uploaded to my blog, Sheila asked me to write this blog post.
• On Facebook I started a fan page in which I post prayers based on scripture, offer chances to discuss topics, and provide links to blog posts.
• I pray above all that God is glorified and that others are blessed as I obey Him.

All of these steps have stretched me. I used to feel like I was promoting myself, but now I feel like I am promoting the message God gave me to share. If no one knows it is available then who will hear the message? So I step out as God calls me. Each day doing what He leads me to do.

Have I arrived with a huge speaking platform? No. Am I doing what God wants me to do? Yes.

What are you doing to expand your speaking platform?

Let us know in the comments! And be sure to look Angela up at Rethinking my Thinking,  or on Facebook.

Watch this blog for the announcements of the Speaker Summer School that’s coming in August: we’ll talk getting bookings, publishing a book, and perfecting anecdotes!

Use Your Words: Getting Your Ministry out of a Rut

photo © 2008 Paul Walker | more info (via: Wylio)
Is your speaking ministry stuck in a rut?

Maybe last year you had three paid speaking engagements, so you were hoping to have ten this year. But you’ve had three again. Or perhaps you dreamed of breaking out of speaking engagements for roughly 50 people each time, and speaking to hundreds. But that’s not happening.

Yesterday on my Use Your Words BlogTalkRadio show I talked about how to break out of a rut, and propel your ministry to the next level. You can listen to the 30 minute program here.

Let me let you in on the three principles that I shared:

1. Don’t be Boring

People underestimate how used to being bored audiences are. Most of the time that a speaker is talking, audience members are planning errands in their minds, thinking over shopping lists or to-do lists, and in general not paying attention.

It’s hard to capture an audience’s attention today.

That’s why if you come in and are actually interesting, people will tell others about you because you will stick in their minds.

And since word of mouth is really the only thing that generates speaking engagements, you absolutely MUST be interesting and engaging.

I talk about that in this blog post, 7 Ways to Bore Your Audience. Follow that advice, and they won’t be bored. They’ll be engaged. And then they will tell others about how great a speaker you are, because you will stand out from the crowd!

2. Get Strategic in Asking for Speaking Engagements

If you’re finding that your engagements have sputtered, and you aren’t getting very many requests anymore, think about speaking very strategically somewhere that you can talk to women from as many churches and areas as possible.

And the best place to do that? Conferences. Look into conferences in your area and propose 2-3 ideas of workshops that you can do. The workshops must teach a skill or address a need, so they’re not exactly the same as giving an inspirational talk. But the good thing is that you get to stand before women from a variety of churches who can then recommend you.

At that workshop, mention at the beginning and the end that you speak at churches and do retreats. At the end, say something like, “I’d love to come and share this message with your church, so please speak to me if your church is looking for speakers.” And then have some business cards on hand.

Where do you find conferences? Think about denominational conferences (even outside your own denomination), homeschooling conventions, MOPS conventions, worship conventions, or general women’s conferences. Look anywhere you’re willing to drive to, so it can be far from where you live. And then search online and make a list of all the recurring conferences in your area. Start contacting the organizers. And see where it goes!

In one year I did the main conference for the Christian Reformed Church, the Salvation Army, the North American Baptist, and two homeschooling conventions, and from those I had tons of speaking engagements. Now, I was actually keynoting at many of them, but when I was just starting, I did workshops at these types of conferences, too. And it’s amazing how those workshops can add to more things.

3. Project the Image “I’m a Professional”

Sometimes you’re stalled in small engagements because that’s the image you give off. If you want to get a larger engagement, you need to look as if you’re ready for it. I know this sounds petty, but image does matter, both in person and online.

So dress well. Invest in 2-3 outfits for speaking that are high quality, dynamic (as in not browns & blacks & beiges), and interesting to look at. Have a fashionable friend shop with you if necessary.

Get a good haircut and learn how to apply some basic makeup.

And then, make sure that your website looks like it belongs to someone who speaks frequently. Invest in a professional photograph, and put pictures of yourself speaking up on your website. Make sure your topics are easy to find, and testimonials from other people. But a high quality photo and a well-designed website will do much for giving the impression that you are professional and that you take speaking seriously.

A poorly designed website says, “I do this just for a hobby, and I haven’t invested in it.” A large church isn’t going to hire you then. So pay the money and get a graphic designer for your website, and hire someone to take a good photo!

There’s lots more in the download. Listen to the whole show here, and tell me what you think! And if you have ideas for future shows, or something you want me to cover, let me know!

This summer I’ll be starting a series of webinars that you can take to learn more about building your speaking ministry. I’ll announce those soon, and I do hope you’ll join me.

Don’t Settle on a Niche Too Early

photo © 2010 Jason Meredith | more info (via: Wylio)
I get the emails almost everyday: “I feel called to speak to women about depression.” “I feel called to speak to women about surviving abuse.” “I feel called to speak to college women about deciding on God’s will.” Or whatever it may be.

And it’s a wonderful thing to think that you have a very specific message for people! I would, however, warn you that this is not the most ideal way to start a speaking ministry–and could easily backfire.

Let me explain. In general, in the Christian church today, when you are hired to speak, you are hired to speak to general audiences. You aren’t hired to speak to just single aged college women, or to just abuse survivors, or to just those suffering from depression. You are hired to speak at a spring outreach for ALL the women in the church, or at the launch of their fall women’s Bible study, or at their monthly dinner. Such events are frequent, and often have a budget for speakers. That’s where you will begin your ministry.

Thus, you must remember these things:

1. If you are called to be a speaker, you need a message that is timeless that resonates with everyone.

Maybe God has specifically talked to you in the areas of abuse, or purity, or depression, or anger, but you must find a way to take that key message of your life and make it something that all can relate to. For instance, if you’re talking about abuse, you can use that as an illustration, or one of your points, but your whole message should be about how God is close to the brokenhearted, or how God helps you through getting over hurts. If you’re message is on purity, your whole talk could be about the blessing of holiness, and how God wants us to live holy lives, and that could be one subpoint.

Take your subject and look at what part of this appeals to EVERYONE–and then turn it into that talk.

2. Speaking is Not Therapy

I don’t mean to be harsh here, but I fear sometimes in talking to new speakers that they feel called to speak because God has done something so amazing in one corner of their lives that they want to share it. That’s wonderful, and we should all be sharing our testimony. But speaking can’t be used as a way to further healing–or at least not that primarily. I believe that speaking does enhance healing, but you have to speak first and foremost because God has called you to be a teacher, not just because God has called you to share a message.

If God has called you to be a teacher, then you should be able to teach a wide range of people, not only people specifically like you. If you can only teach people specifically like  you, then it’s unlikely you’ll be able to grow your ministry, and you could be too emotionally enmeshed in your topic that it becomes difficult to give the talk the objectivity it needs to teach it well.

Yes, some people have amazing testimonies, and they become speakers based on what seems to be their testimonies alone. But that is really few and far between. If you want to become known and get hired, you need to be able to speak to a generic audience, and that means that you have to have some flexibility.

3. Speaking Starts with the Audience, not with You

When you are designing a talk, you have to ask yourself, “what does my audience struggle with?” “What are the issues my audience faces?” “What are they going through?” It is the audience that you start with; not  you. You have to think to yourself, what message will most resonate with them? Sometimes when we have a great testimony, we want to only share that, because we feel that it is so powerful. But it is powerful because it happened to us; that does not mean that other people will see it in the same way. Who you speak to must be your starting point.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying don’t share your testimony. Every time I speak I share about childhood rejection and I share about my son dying. But I frame it around generic issues: how we women try to control our lives so that nothing bad happens. How we live in fear that things we love may be taken away from us. I start from their issues, and then I use my own as illustrations. I don’t start with me.

4. Realize that God will open doors when you are ready

Maybe I’m depressing you, because you really do feel called to speak to college-aged women, or to depressed women, or to abuse survivors. But let me assure you: I am not saying that you never will. I am just saying that “niche” events, that occur just for a certain subset of women, are very rare. They tend to be workshops at conferences, or regional conferences that attract only that group of women. They’re few and far between. So to get your name known to be hired where you eventually want to be, you need to get experience speaking first. And that experience will likely be with generic events.

Once you have some of those under your belt, and you get better known, you can approach some conferences and offer to do workshops. But often these niche markets don’t really pay, and it can be harder to make a living at it.

Maybe you dream of speaking in front of hundreds of women who are just in your niche, but think about this realistically. How often do hundreds of women in that niche get together to listen to a speaker? Likely it’s not very often. But how often do those same women mingle with others and get together for outreach events? Likely quite frequently.

So find a way to make your talk generic, and you can touch these women where they already are in big events. Don’t label yourself as a speaker to “abuse survivors”. Simply say that you are an inspirational speaker who talks about how God can help us overcome past hurts. Do you see the difference? Then your ministry is bigger, more effective, and more likely to take off!

If you’re having a problem seeing how you could make your story generic, my audio download, “Crafting a Life-Changing Signature Talk“, can help. It takes you through the process of figuring out what God’s main message is to you, and then looks at how to incorporate your life story in a way that people of all backgrounds can relate to it! Look at it here.

Don’t Give Up!

I wrote a post earlier this week about what to when you feel like giving up. I wrote it in the context of one who is overburdened and tired of the effort.

But there is another aspect to feeling like giving up; there is also the one who does not feel like they are ever good enough. You try, but you just don’t arrive.

Do you ever feel like that? You feel called to speak; you feel as if God has gifted you; but then you hear other speakers and you think, “I could never do that.” You look around and there are other women younger than you, who haven’t been speaking as long, and they have much bigger bookings than you do. Should you really keep going? Are you just kidding yourself?

I came across an article by an artist recently where she quotes artist Ira Glass, explaining why so many people quit after trying their hand at something creative for a time. He writes,

Isn’t that smart?

The reason that you are so critical of yourself is that you have actually thought about what goes into speaking. You know what you want to sound like. You know what kind of response you’re looking for.

And so you see, ever so vividly, when you don’t live up to your own expectations.

That is not the time to give up. That is the time to think about these things:

1. God is the only One who should tell me to give up.

If you’re wondering if you should quit, ask for release. If you don’t feel that release, then go with your initial calling. And this brings up another point: when you do feel called to speak, when you feel a message from God, write it down in great detail. Write it down so that when you second guess yourself, you can go back and see it and remember.

2. You are only called to be yourself.

Don’t compare yourself to others. We all speak in different ways and have different messages. I may have one way of delivering a talk that I think is effective; another way may work for you.

God may be calling some people to one type of ministry; He may be calling you to ministry, but in a different way. You only have to be yourself.

3. Seeing where you can improve is a good thing

When you see areas for growth, that is good! That doesn’t mean you’re lousy at what you do; it just means that you’re turning in enough to what makes a good speaker that you can identify areas where you need to improve. That means you’re closer to your goal, not farther away from it.

So don’t give up! Clarify your calling, and then persevere in it. I know it can be lonely and disheartening sometimes. That’s why we’re building this online community! But keep at it, and God will bless you in His calling.

Passion Vs. Strategy

Photo by The Photography Muse

I hear it all the time–”I have a passion for youth”. Or “I have a passion to reach those with mental illness”. Or “I have a passion for stepfamilies.”

God has put different passions for ministry on our hearts. I would say I have a passion for marriage–partly stemming from growing up without a dad, and partly stemming from seeing how much of a difference a strong marriage has made in my life and my daughters’ lives.

In talking to some of you in my webinars or my Facebook page, I know that God has given you all passions, too. You want to serve Him in different but specific ways, and you have a message that you think needs to be heard.

That’s wonderful. But there’s still a practical conundrum that you have to deal with: how do you actually get hired to speak in the area of your passion?

Let’s say, for instance, that you’re a woman in your mid-thirties with a passion for speaking to teens. What do you do? You can speak at various youth groups, but it’s doubtful you’d get paid. There’s generally not a budget for speaking at a regular youth event.

You could try to speak at a youth retreat, but in general, they hire youth pastors to do that. There actually aren’t a lot of places to get hired, when you’re starting out, to speak to youth.

It’s the same issue with step-families. You may have a great message for step-families, but think about this practically: when do step-families get together and listen to a speaker? Likely the only time is at a huge conference, and for that, they’re going to bring in someone like Kevin Leman or something. Individual churches, or even communities, simply don’t do a lot of events that are simply for step-families.

Thus my rule of thumb:

When you are beginning to speak, it is more important to get known as a speaker than it is to get known inside the area of your passion.

That may sound counterintuitive, but I began by speaking to general audiences, not to couples. I spoke to women of all ages and all marital statuses. But as I spoke, others would hear me, and I’ve been invited to speak at things as diverse as Rotary Clubs, Lions Clubs, women’s sororities, homeschooling conferences, and yes, even marriage conferences, all springing from my speaking at a general women’s event at a church.

You need practice speaking, and that practice doesn’t need to be in your niche. You need to get known in your community. And as you’re known, it’s more likely you’ll get asked to speak in your niche.

Here are the simple facts: the more specific your passion, the bigger name you have to be, in general, to be asked to speak in that area of passion. Because the niche is so specific, the events have to be huge, and attract people from a wide geographical area, in order to minister to that niche, because it’s small. Thus, the events tend to be bigger, not smaller. And it’s much harder to be asked to speak at a big event, when you’re starting, than it is to speak at a general event. These general events are held far more frequently, and tend to be smaller, so it’s easier to break in there.

It is not that you are selling out, or walking outside of your calling. You are building up your repertoire, and you are building your skills. You are building your name and your platform. And as you become known, when you let people know your areas of interest, they are more likely to remember you when they are in the position to influence who is asked to speak at such an event.

So take a look at your geographical area, and look at the types of events that speakers are hired for. Take a look at where they hire the big names, and where they hire the smaller names. You want to aim for where they hire the smaller names, because that’s your most likely market as you start, too. Don’t get so focused on your passion or your area that you believe God is calling you that you create a situation where it’s almost impossible to get any bookings. Everyone has to start somewhere. I did not start talking about marriage, but over the next two or three years I’ll likely transition so that 75% of what I do will be speaking about marriage. But that has been eight years in coming; eight years of speaking to general women’s audiences.

We all have stories to tell, and if you can find the thread in your story that makes it applicable to anyone, even if they’re not in your target niche, you’ll be able to speak to general audiences. Maybe you have a passion for step-families because you have had to live through blending a family. Not everyone can relate to that, but everyone understands feeling like you’re living with strangers. Everybody understands feeling as if you don’t really belong. Everyone understands having to rely on God to show love in difficult situations. Your message is relevant not just for the area of your passion, but for others, too.

So ask God to show you how you can deliver a general message, and then ask God to open those doors. You’ll find that the more you start speaking, the more you will be asked to speak. And then, once you’re known, it will be easier to break into the area of your passion!

Answering Your Questions

Yesterday on my Use Your Words BlogTalkRadio show I answered a bunch of questions that you all had put up on the wall of our Facebook group! Do listen in and get answers to questions like: How do I decide what to speak on? Do I need more than one talk? How do I branch out to speak beyond my church? What is my niche? Should I write a book? What do I do with CDs?

I thought it might be useful, though, to put up a post with links to other blog posts where I also tackled some of these questions. I know some of you are new to this blog, and you don’t really know where to start. So, in a nutshell, here are my thoughts on some of these issues:

What Should I Speak About?

• What Is Your Heart’s Message? Figuring out what God wants you to speak on.
• The Importance of Telling Your Story.
• The Ten Qualities of a Gifted Speaker. Do you fit?



How Do I Start Charging?

• When Should I Set a Fee?
• Creating a Fee Schedule
• Treating Speaking as a Business. My audio download!



Writing a Book

• Do You Really Want to Write a Book? My caution here.
• Be Careful About Self-Publishing Too Fast!
• How to Write a Book Proposal If you are going to write a book, here’s how to do it.



How Do I Get Those Beginning Engagements?

• Why Can’t I Get Bookings?
• Creating a Newsletter for your ministry
• Generating Word of Mouth for your ministry
• How to Get Better Bookings audio download!

I hope these links help you peruse this blog a little better, and answer some questions! If you have more, please leave a comment! I’m always looking for new things to write about or to devote my radio program to!

How Do I Know When To Start Charging?

A while back I received an email from a woman who has been taking my e-course on launching your speaking ministry. She wrote this:

I am still struggling with how do I present to friends what I do and the cost of doing it. Locally seems to be an issue because there isn’t a lot of travel time and I usually receive a nice gift of some sort, picture frames, candles, corsages. None of which I mind and have enjoyed having the opportunity to speak. But now I would like to take it to the next level. I have a friend in ministry in MN. 633 miles away, about 11 hours if I were to drive straight through. They offered $200 for gasoline money plus travel meals. When I get there food and lodging will be provided. I’m having a hard time justifying financially this event. I want to do it because of our long time relationship, I feel so torn.
I would welcome anything you have to say.

Can you relate to that? As soon as you start traveling, speaking actually costs YOU money. And if people aren’t willing to pay, is it worth it for you? Especially since it takes so much time away from home?

I know when I speak, I often have to drive at least 3 hours to the engagement. That means if the engagement is from 7-9 p.m., and I have to beat rush hour traffic, I have to leave at 1 in the afternoon and I’m not back until midnight. That’s a long time to be gone!

So when do you start charging for your time and expenses so that it more accurately reflects a fee that you could run a ministry on? At what point do you stop doing things for free (or just for expenses?). Here’s what I said to her:

I know what you’re saying about having trouble justifying the expense. Many of us, when we start speaking, join the “Sisterhood of the Potted Plant”. Are you part of that yet? That’s when you go speak, and afterwards the hostess asks you to the front to thank you, and she gives you a hug, and presents you with a plant. Probably a pansy, if it’s spring. Now I love plants, but your ministry can’t survive on plants!

Here’s what I would say: It is not a bad idea to invest say a year into building your reputation. Speak as much as you can, as long as you don’t LOSE too much money. Record yourself every time you speak. Create some videos to put up on YouTube of short little clips of you being either funny or really profound. Create that great website so you’ve got everything going for you. Collect email addresses every where you go through contests (I have some of this up on my blog and in the course).

And think of that first year as building relationships and connections so that you can start really charging. Also think of it as a time of preparation for you, when you get comfortable with your talks and can start to deliver them without relying too much on notes.

At the same time, there does come a time when you want to start charging enough to make it worth your while–let’s say $250 for a one-time engagement, plus mileage. I think that’s a pretty good starting point that pays for your time and for your preparation. I would say to start charging once you have several engagements lined up. In other words, once you’re not the one seeking the engagements, but others are coming to you, it’s time to start charging. They’ve heard of you from somewhere, so you have a reputation now. That’s worth something.

If each engagement can’t pay, then you can take it to the Lord and ask if He still wants you to go (because He might! I’ve done some engagements for free just because they’ve been such great opportunities to share the gospel). But you also have to be careful with your time and your finances.

The other time I might consider doing something free is if I have the opportunity to sell my books/CDs. If you have CDs of your talks that you can sell, and they’re designed with a nice graphic, you can often charge $10-$15 each, and then that can make you some money. If you’re talking to 200 women, and 10% of the audience buys, you’re making $200-$300 just in sales for something that doesn’t cost you very much.

So I guess what I would say is this: decide where you are on the ministry road. Are you still in the building phase, or have you left that behind? Are you receiving calls to speak, or are you still seeking them out? Once you’re receiving calls, it’s time to set a fee and tell people what that fee is.

That’s what I told her. What do you think?

Cold Calling Local Churches for Speaking Requests

Photo by tobiastoft

Your palms are sweaty. You pick up the phone, and you flash back to when you were 13 and you wanted to call that boy you really liked, so you dialed fast and then hung up before he answered. Only now you’re long past 13, and you can’t hang up because most churches have call display.

You’re engaged in that most nerve-wracking of all marketing endeavors: cold calling. You’ve decided to cold call your local churches to propose yourself as a potential speaker for women’s events. In our Facebook Page, where we talk speaking ministry and all the aspects of it, one of our readers started this discussion about the best way to contact local churches. I thought it was such a good topic it warranted a blog post!

But before I launch into my advice on what to say once you dial that phone, let’s clarify a few things. Why are you calling the church? I’ve suggested before that when you’re just starting out, doing a few engagements for free is definitely a good idea. It gets your name out there, it allows you to record yourself in front of a live audience, and it gives you practice. And besides that, you get the honor of spreading the message that God has given you!

Perhaps you don’t want to speak for free, though. Perhaps you’ve spoken quite a bit, but you’re in a bit of a slump, and you’d like to see if you can be hired locally. As long as you have your goals set, here are some thoughts as to how to go about making that call:

1. Do Your Research First

Do you know anybody who goes to that church? Ask them if they can give you an introduction to whoever is in charge of women’s ministry–even if all they give you is a name. If you don’t know anybody at that church, ask your friends on Facebook if any of them know anybody at that particular church. The friend of a friend approach tends to work better. When you have a relationship with the church, even if it’s only tenuous, the church secretary is going to feel more amenable to you, and the women’s ministry director will feel better, too.

Check them out on the web! Most churches have websites now, and many will have a pages for their different ministries. Check out what day of the week the women meet. Where do they meet? What time? Do they have any social events coming up in the next few months? Are there pictures posted of last year’s events? See if you can map out what the church tends to do over a 12-month period. If you know, for instance, that they tend to have a dinner around Christmastime and then a Saturday retreat in the spring, then when you call, you can say, “I know you often host an outreach dinner at Christmas, and I’d love to talk to your ministry leader about how I can help with that.”

2. Ask the Secretary for an Introduction, not an Answer

Very rarely is the secretary of the church actually involved in women’s ministry. You don’t need the secretary to actually hire you for anything. What you need is for the secretary to be an ally–and to help you get the introduction.

Don’t ask if the secretary knows if the women’s ministry committee has hired speakers for the upcoming year, or if the secretary knows if they need a women’s speaker, because that sounds a lot like a marketing call, and most secretaries don’t like that. Instead, say something like this:

“My friend Pat Smith mentioned that Rachel Scott was now running the women’s ministry at your church, and I have a passion for ministry to women in our community. I was hoping to speak to Rachel to see if there was any way I could help. Can you tell me the best way to contact her?”

That makes it more personal.

Don’t offer to drop anything off. If you say instead,

“I have some information on the speaking I do, and I’d love to get it to Rachel. What’s the best way to do that?”

90% of the time the secretary will tell you to come down and drop off your packet–and then that packet will be disregarded. So don’t ask to drop anything off. Ask to talk to Rachel. You may get her phone number or her email, but most churches won’t give that out. What you can say is something like this:

“I know you can’t give out her email, but if I sent you an email, could you forward it to her?”

In general, emails from secretaries will be answered and taken more seriously than a packet left at the church, which will be interpreted as junk mail.

3. When Emailing the Ministry Leader, Help her see how you fit.

Send an email introducing yourself, linking to your YouTube videos or testimonials, and listing three or four things you could help her with in her ministry. Maybe you could come and talk to her Bible study group one Thursday morning. Perhaps you could host a kick-off for the new calendar year. You could speak at Christmas. Make it easy for her to envision how she could use you. Perhaps they’ve never had a speaker for a kick-off in January or September before, but it is a good idea! And if you’re willing to do it for free, mention that, too!

Do mention acquaintances you have in common. And in that email, make sure to mention the people that you know whom Rachel also knows. Make sure she realizes that you are local, and that you know people in the community. If you don’t know people because you’re new, then mention that, too, but also mention how you’re planning on participating in the body of Christ in the community. Do you belong to any homeschooling groups? Do you volunteer at the Christian radio station or soup kitchen? Show that you have a commitment here.

Do mention where you’ve spoken before, especially if it’s out of town. Ironically, speaking testimonials from outside your community are often treated more seriously than those from inside your community because it seems like you’re very much in demand. So even if you’ve only spoken at a small Bible study group three hours away from where you live, mention that church and that city.

4. Be Upfront About Fees

If you expect to be paid, mention this in your email. Say something like this at the end:

I’d love to talk to you further about possible topics I could speak on, how I could help you develop a fun evening your women would love, or ideas I have for other events that can be used as outreach into the community. If you want to explore this further, we can compare calendar availability, topic ideas, and discuss fees.

That way it’s there, but it’s not highlighted. You can even add:

…and discuss fees (which I always keep low for local events!)

…if that’s true of you, of course.

5. Mention Further Action

End your email with an idea of where to go next. Are you going to wait for her to email her? Are you going to ask her to phone you? Make it clear what you want, so that she will know what to do. Don’t just send an email introducing yourself. Always end it with something firm, like:

I’m booking up for next season now, and I’d love to talk to you in the next two weeks to see if I could partner with you in ministry. You can reach me by email, or by phone at 555-1212. I look forward to hearing from you!

Then, if you don’t hear from her in two weeks, send a gentle follow-up email asking if she would be interested in talking to you about your speaking ideas. Even better, do some more research to see if you can find a friend of a friend who knows her and who can introduce you or call her on your behalf.

Cold calling is difficult. But now’s a great time to do it! Often over the summer people are just starting to panic about what next year’s ministry is going to look like. So bite the bullet, do your research, and jump in! Ministry close to home is always special because we’re affecting the community we know and love. So go for it!

Have any of you ever tried cold calling? How did it work? Any stories to share? Any fears you have? Let’s talk about it in the comments!