Redesigning my Speaker Training

Hello fellow speakers!

It’s been almost a year and a half since I launched this blog, and exactly a year ago since I started doing tele seminars and e-courses online. I’ve loved connecting with so many of you and I’ve been honored that you have appreciated the words and experience that I’ve had to share with you.

More recently I’ve been conducting a BlogTalkRadio show on Tuesdays on Christian Women Affiliate, and I’ve started a Facebook page where we can all gather and ask advice and ask for prayer!

All of this has been done a little haphazardly, because I wasn’t sure where I was going when it all started. But this summer I’m going to hunker down and plan how to make this the most effective speaker training that I can give you for women’s ministry, at a very affordable (or even free) cost!

What I’ve decided is that some things take a little bit too much time, and I’m going to have to redesign them. Other things I need to start doing because I think they’d be more useful for you. So one big change I’ve decided is that instead of doing my radio show, I’m going to record 10 minute videos, hopefully one a week, that can help you. That way it will be easier for you to search for exactly the information you want, and you can just listen to that part!

I’m also going to separate my Twitter account into my regular account and my speaker training. So if you’ve been following me at Sheila Gregoire, switch over to womensspeaker! Or follow both!

So here’s what you can expect from me:

1. Twice weekly blog posts on something to do with a speaking ministry. I’d love to publish guest posts, so if you have anything burning you’d like to share, or if you want to get your name out there more and have a topic that you think would interest other speakers, send it to me and I’d be glad to consider it! (FREE)

2. Once weekly videos on something practical to do with speaking. I get asked certain questions a lot–how do I get my first engagement, what marketing materials should I have, how do I get less nervous, and I want to put my answers to these in an easy place! (FREE)

3. Amazing teleseminars chock full of information you’ll find invaluable–and accompanied by a very detailed handout so that you can put this stuff to work right away! I’ll do about four of these this summer (more information on dates and times soon), and then hopefully at least once a month starting in the fall.  Here are some that we’re going to be doing soon: how to speak without notes; how to get your first paid speaking engagement; how to perfect your stage presence; how to launch your ministry. ($10)

4. E-courses that will teach you the business aspect of speaking, the marketing aspect of speaking, and the spiritual aspect of speaking, including how to create a talk that will change lives. These are so useful, and I want to keep the price really low so that more of you can start to use the gifts that God has given you! ($40-$75)

5. Consultant work. Do you want me to listen to one of your talks and critique it? I’ve had a number of requests, and I’m thinking I’m going to add this to my list of services in the fall. More information soon! I’ll also be available for phone consultations on marketing aspects of your ministry. ($25/30 minutes)

6. My Facebook and Twitter updates, which will also be full of information, and will be a great place to meet other speakers! We could even arrange for a Twitter or Facebook party every now and then, where we can all get together and ask questions! (FREE)

As you can see, most of this stuff is totally free! And you can get complete training for starting your speaking ministry for about $100, which would include the e-course and a number of tele seminars. I’m making this affordable so that together we can continue to spread God’s message.

Is there anything else you want me to offer? Let me know in the comments! And for now, I’m so happy that we can work together, and I hope I can continue to be an encouragement to you!

The Nagging Question

I love getting guest posts from some of the people who take my speaker training! Here’s a really inspirational post from my friend LauraLee Shaw, whom I met on Facebook and Twitter, but who I’ve also gotten to know in our Facebook group. All speakers need to think long and hard about the question that nags LauraLee:

I remember the following question after each event in my years as a performer, but I’d always been able to answer it. “How’d it go?” Performers get a lot of feedback, positive and negative, whether through the amount of applause or the comments afterwards…so for me, I’d always had an easy answer to that question.

After my first speaking engagement, I kept getting asked “How’d it go?” It was as if the Lord wanted me to hear it over and again so that I’d ponder the answer. Stuttering like a fool who had no business calling herself a speaker, I said, “Ummmm…well…I-I think it went well?” Wait, was that an answer or a question? “Um…God was with me. Learned a ton.” After hearing myself respond, I felt weird inside, and I didn’t know why.

Like a broken DVR, the same thing happened after my second event. My tongue did flip flops sideways trying to answer . “Wellll, um, you know, that’s a tough one. I didn’t get it on video or anything, but I think it went well. I felt God’s calm and peace. I-I…”

This is silly, I realize, especially for someone whose signature talk emphasizes living a God-strong, Spirit-led, faith-filled life based on the person of Jesus Christ. But it bothered me that I couldn’t answer this simple question to my own satisfaction. I wondered if a natural response rolls off the tongue of experienced speakers, whenever she has gained more confidence or secured a system in place for feedback. Or perhaps I was the only newbie speaker on the face of the planet to wrestle with such an ordinary thought. For me, though, after my first two speaking engagements, the question still gnawed at me. Until…

…until the Word of God answered my question. It was kind of a “Duh, Aha” moment, but I got my answer. The Lord led me to 1 Thessalonians 5:12, a verse I’d written on and shared with ministry friends for years.

“The One who calls you is faithful, and HE will do it.” (emphasis mine).

Amen! I had believed this wholeheartedly when it came to moving forward with His call on my life, but I couldn’t verbalize it in terms of results. Yea yea, so it takes some of us a bit longer than others to get it.

The answer to my nagging question was, is and will be from now on, “The Lord was so faithful.,” the emphasis continuing on what He did versus how I felt like things went. This is all with the realization that it may not only be the message that God wants to use. He may also accomplish His purposes through a conversation before or after, or through a lesson in humility learned from a mistake or a misunderstanding. Maybe it’ll be a prayer, or that announcement, song or drama presented at another time in the session that will stir someone’s soul. It’s about Him alone, “The One” who called me there to speak and “The One” who led anyone else there in the room for whatever reason in the first place. He is the exclamation point on the end of the event!

When I was a performer, I learned that even when I was doing something for God’s glory, I rarely did it without a hitch or with the perfect motive. Sometimes, I unknowingly made it about me, all the while praying that I wouldn’t. I can be fleshy that way. Experienced speakers have also taught me that as I get more training or get comfortable with my talk, I still may go off on a rabbit trail, have a hormonal moment with words that go wonkity, or worse yet, say something I’ll wish I hadn’t said later. But with the emphasis on Jesus being faithful to do what He wants to do through the leading of the Holy Spirit, I can relax, resting in the blessing that “she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!” (Luke 1:45)

Ahhhhhhh. I feel so much better already…though I wonder what, if any, the nagging question will be after my 3^rd speaking engagement? My 20th?

Anyone?

LauraLee Shaw is a daughter of the King, wife of 20 years, Mom/taxi driver to 3 stinkers, mentor, writer & speaker residing in Texas. She likes to mix her life’s experiences–the big, the small, the great & the ugly–along with a bit of dramatic humor, in order to show how the Lord has been up close and personal every step of the way. LauraLee can be found spreading joy and Truth at LauraLeeShaw.com, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.

How to Make People Realize They Need to Make a Change

Why do you speak?

Think about that question deeply for a moment. Why do you get up in front of a bunch of women and speak?

Perhaps some answers might be:

• I have a story I want to tell.
• I want to tell them about Jesus.
• I want to share what God has done.
• I want to bless others.

These are all good answers. But I don’t think they are enough. We need to go deeper.

The reason we speak, I believe, is to move people to a place where they are open to hearing from God. In other words, we speak to encourage change in people’s lives. Only God can effect that change, but we speak for the purpose of God working through us so that people are willing to let Him change them. Change is our focus.

If you are simply speaking to “share your story”, then you’re speaking to transmit information. Transmitting information is great, but just because someone knows something does not mean they are going to do something about it. You need to speak not just so that you share your story; but instead so that through sharing it, others are touched and want to go deeper with God.

We touched on this in the last post: you can’t sell the solution until you’ve sold the problem. One of the first jobs of a speaker, then, is to help people laugh at themselves and realize that they do indeed have a problem. Then you tell them the solution.

And then you play Nathan. Do you remember the prophet Nathan? He told King David this long involved story of a rich king who took a poor farmer’s only ewe lamb, his special lamb that this farmer loved, and killed it because he didn’t want to eat any of his own many thousands of sheep. And David was so incensed he ordered the rich man killed. But then Nathan turned, and looked at David the adulterer and murderer, and said, “You are that man!”

In our talks, too, we need to take the same approach. You’ve told people they have a problem. Now it’s time to tell people they ARE the problem.

For instance, in my talk about how we women are control freaks, trying to control every little thing in our lives, I get us to laugh at ourselves and admit that we do try to control things because that’s what our culture tells us to do. Then I show them how this is the wrong approach. And then I get to the conviction part of the talk:

I tell them, this controlling behaviour is making you miserable, and it will continue to make you miserable until you take it to God. It’s no one’s problem but your own. You are hurting yourself.

In the beginning you told people they had a problem, but you didn’t personalize it. Now it’s time to personalize it, and show people that they are the ones that are feeding this problem. It’s not the media’s fault, or your husband’s fault, or your family’s fault, or even God’s fault. You are doing it. And you need to stop.

You don’t have to do this in a super-serious way. I use a great illustration from Finding Nemo for one of my conviction moments in one of my talks. But it drives the point home: you are only making yourself miserable. You are only hurting yourself.

In your talks, do you make sure that people own the problem? Do they believe they have a problem, and then do you take them to point where they see they ARE the problem? If they don’t, it’s much harder for women to feel as if they need your solution. I don’t mean that we should do a major guilt trip; but it is a rare person indeed who decides to change without first realizing that what they are doing now is not working.

Before you speak next time, take a look at your talk, and ask yourself: am I spending time helping people laugh at themselves about the silly things we worry about or the silly things we do? Am I spending time showing people how hurtful this ultimately is? Or am I simply offering them a solution without ever showing them it’s a problem?

Make sure you’re being honest and creative about talking about the problem before you offer the solution, and I think you’ll find that more people will be moved to an honest, deep prayer time with God afterwards!

If you need help crafting a talk that takes towards that journey of change, check out my teleseminar, Crafting a Life Changing Signature Talk.

Sell the Problem Before the Solution

Remember the “Jesus is the Answer” bumper stickers?

They weren’t overly successful at spreading the gospel. People tended to laugh in derision instead.

And I really don’t blame them. Because you see you can’t have an answer until you have a question. And that’s so important to remember when we’re speaking: don’t give people the answer to their problems until you’ve convinced them they have a problem.

Too often we approach our talks as if they have to be us imparting our deep wealth of wisdom on our audience. We know what they should be doing. We know the secret of a Spirit filled life. We know how to get them back on track. And so we think of our talks in that way: I’m going to teach you how to be a better friend. I’m going to teach you how to be filled with the Spirit. I’m going to teach you how to really worship.

Now you may have the best ideas ever about how to worship. You may completely know how to make them a great friend. And you may have all the Scriptures to back it up, and some statistics, and some Powerpoint, and some props, and some great anecdotes. And people might listen and really enjoy it and think you were marvelous.

But they aren’t going to own it unless they first feel that they aren’t very good friends, or they aren’t filled with the Spirit, or they don’t know how to worship. Until people feel like they have a problem, then your talk will mostly be intellectual. Even if you have great stories, it likely won’t go from the head to the heart.

That’s why I believe that the early part of any talk should be spent on selling women on their problems. Get them to laugh at themselves. Show them what we women do that is so counterproductive. Whatever the problem is, help them to be able to say, “you’re right. I’ve got a problem.” Once they have owned it, they’re far more likely to listen to your solution, and far more likely to open themselves up to God. If they don’t own it, they’re going to think, “that’s interesting information”, and maybe even “I wish so and so were here to hear this”, but it won’t do anything for them.

So often people start their talks by introducing the Scripture and by launching right in to the problem that Jesus is addressing. I think this is doing things in the wrong order. After all, Jesus Himself told stories that illustrated a point before He told the application. And we need to do the same thing: tell stories that illustrate that there is actually a problem before we bring up the solution.

Here’s an example of part of the introduction to one of my talks, where I’m talking about the stupid things we women feel guilty for:

Often these parts of the talk work best if we can get people to laugh. I usually spend at least ten minutes on this part of the talk, because it’s usually on the lighter side, and later on I get a lot more serious. But if people have had a chance to laugh, they handle the serious stuff much better, and they’re already geared to listen to you.

So next time you go to speak, remember: don’t sell the solution until you sell the problem. Make people see that they need the solution, or they won’t really listen to you.

Right now I’m speaking a Christian writer’s conference, and that’s one of the main things I’m bringing home. Next post I’ll do point 2: they know they have a problem. Now what?

If you’re struggling with how to put a talk together–what to include, and in what order, and how to bring in Scripture–I have a great teleseminar that I know will make it so easy for you. It comes complete with a talk skeleton that you can fill in and then use to write your signature talk. You can find it here!

The Ten Qualities of a Gifted Women’s Speaker

Picture of N.J. Lindquist, Canadian author and speaker

If you’re wondering whether or not God has called you to speaking, here are the ten qualities that I think best define a gifted women’s speaker. I should note that several of these I struggle with–finding time for prayer, for instance. But making this list encourages me to aim higher and rely on God more, so even if you’re not totally there yet, at least this gives you something to aim for!

1. Focuses on Christ and Him crucified. 1 Corinthians 2:2 says,

For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

Paul was writing to the Corinthian church about his credentials as an apostle, and he states that whatever he said, it always came back to the cross. If you’re to be an effective women’s speaker, whatever you say has to be centered around the cross. Your message needs to be centered around the cross. Your life needs to be centered around the cross. Otherwise, why are we doing this?

2. Realizes that It’s Not About You. Closely related to #1, #2 says that the purpose of speaking is not to spread our own ministry or fame, but to spread God’s fame. When you tell your story, it’s not to glorify yourself. It’s to point to what God has done in your life, and to show others what He can do in theirs. This is a tricky one, because we’re human, and it’s nice to get accolades. But a good speaker remembers that her gifts come from God, not from herself. I have listened to other speakers compare their writings to Scripture. I have listened to other speakers do such an intense selling pitch for their books and CDs that I’ve felt embarrassed for them. It’s fine to draw attention to resources that you believe will draw others closer to Him. But let’s do it in that spirit.

3. Relies on God for Her Energy and Motivation. You can’t do this yourself. You can’t will yourself to be good, to be energetic, to be happy, to be inspiring. Only God can do that for you, so you have to spend time dedicated to prayer, to getting yourself in a good place so that you can share with others. Don’t try to do it in your own strength.

4. Stays Current with God. You can’t share your story and your walk if you don’t have one. Maybe you have a great story of victory, but if that victory happened eight years ago, and you’ve been coasting on it ever since, something’s wrong. I find that my signature talks and signature retreats change every year because God is doing something new in me. When my story changes, my talks change, too. Make sure that your relationship with God is fresh.

5. Understands Her Audience. You may not always be talking to people exactly like you. In fact, you usually won’t be. A good speaker thinks about how her message will be received and interpreted; she doesn’t just share what she wants to share. If you’re married, remember that a good portion of those in your audience will be single, widowed, or divorced. Don’t make all your anecdotes relate to marriage. Likewise, if you became a Christian later in life and lived a rather promiscuous existence beforehand, don’t glory too much in that, because many won’t relate to you. Know your audience: their church background (or lack thereof), their cultural background, their age, their marital status. Make sure that you try to reach out to everyone in whatever walk of life.

6. Tells Stories that People can Relate To. A gifted speaker doesn’t just teach. She doesn’t only open up the Bible and expound on its theological significance. She uses stories and anecdotes that can hit home to people. Audiences tend to relate best to stories; make sure that you include lots of them! This isn’t “dumbing down” your talk at all; it’s making it more accessible, and more likely that people will remember it. It’s also touching them emotionally, and if the emotions aren’t engaged as well as the head, then it’s unlikely that they will open themselves up to hear from God.

7. Speaks Confidently. Do you find yourself relying too heavily on your notes? If you can’t remember what you’re saying, how do you expect the audience to remember? I know that’s a tall order, but I do believe that as you practice and speak more and more, you will require notes less and less. I usually take one sheet of paper up with me, at the most, with keywords written down to jog my memory about what comes next. And what about speaking skills in general? A gifted speaker is one that puts the audience at ease. They won’t be at ease if they think you’re nervous. So practice speaking in front of a mirror. Listen to a recording of yourself so you can tell if you’re too fast or too slow. Don’t be afraid of leaving pauses instead of “ummms” or “okays”. Act confident and people are more inclined to listen to you.

8. Knows The Point of What She is Saying. Have you ever listened to a talk and thought to yourself, “that was very entertaining, but I have no idea what they want me to do now?” Don’t let that be you! Always know what ONE main point you’re making, and what ONE main change  you’re encouraging the women to make in their lives. If you have five points, they’ll never remember them all. If you have too many applications, they’ll never do them. Ultimately we usually only need one application, anyway, and chances are it goes something like this: move deeper into a level of trust with God, whether it’s with my heart, my marriage, my finances, my kids, my career, or my calling. Your goal is to help move people so that they’re willing to take that next step. So know that. Have everything lead  up to that. Don’t just entertain; tell stories and teach with a purpose. If you can sum up your talk clearly in one sentence before you begin, chances are people will be able to parrot it back to you after you finish. But if you can’t sum it up, chances are they won’t be able to tell you what changes you want them to make, either.

9. Constantly Seeks New Opportunities To Grow. We’re never done when it comes to learning how to speak well. My ministry was expanding and growing well when I got a hold of the book Communicating for a Change: Seven Keys to Irresistible Communication
by Andy Stanley, which opened my eyes up to ways that I was hindering people’s ability to respond clearly to my talks.
I changed the entire format of everything I said. And my ministry continued to grow. I could have just coasted, because things were going well, but I believe that we all need to keep getting training, critiquing, and new ideas, because we’ve never “arrived”. This fall, one of the ministries I partner with is bringing in a performance trainer to help us hone our message. I’ll have to deliver it and he’ll then critique me. Is that scary? You betcha! But I know it will be worth it! If you need to continue your training, I have lots of resources right here. They’re not expensive, and I know they will help!

10. Acts Professionally. She dresses well (not because she’s vain, but because she wants to appear authoritative). She communicates well and clearly with the event organizers. She’s upfront about whether or not she charges a fee so that the organizers aren’t nervous about this. She charges what she’s worth, but she’s always open to the Spirit about amending things at times. She tells the organizers what to expect, and she doesn’t just say, “I’ll do anything you want”. She has a web presence so people can find her! All of this is not about spreading her own fame, but because if she doesn’t do these things, her ministry won’t grow, and her message won’t get out there. Speaking isn’t a business; it’s a ministry. But it will always be more effective if we apply some sound business principles to it.

Do these things, and God will expand your ministry! He wants to reach people, and He wants to use us to do it. We just need to be willing, get the training, and be effective.

What do you think? Which is the biggest struggle for you? Did I miss something important? Is there one that you would take out? Let’s talk about it in the comments, or debate with me over in our Facebook group!

Use Your Words: How Do I Know If I’m Called to Speak?

Today on Use Your Words we answered a question that many people have: how do I know if I’m called to speak or write? If you missed it, you can listen in

Right here.

But I’d like to summarize what I said in that show right now. Too often we torture ourselves wondering if God has called us to be a speaker. In my reading of Scripture, God calls EVERYONE to share the message of the gospel. Everyone. So you really need a calling NOT to speak.

That does not mean, of course, that everyone has a calling to speak at women’s retreats. But I think God usually reveals to us our calling when we’re already involved in ministry. So let’s look at some key points for working out our calling:

1. Remember God calls everyone to share the good news. You don’t need to worry if you are called on that front, and all of us should know how to tell our story and how to lead others to Christ, whether we do it from a podium or not.

2. God calls those who are already active in ministry. Paul was already on a missionary trip with Barnabas when the Spirit hit him and he began preaching. Up until then Barnabas was the main preacher, but because he was walking beside Barnabas, engaged with people, he had the opportunity to speak and he used it. If you’re wondering whether or not you’re called, get involved in ministry! That’s where opportunities happen. Get involved in your local church. Get involved in your denomination. Talk to others who are out there doing it. Get involved in mom’s groups. When we’re out there, and God wants to channel us in a new direction, He does.

3. God usually calls people who are already moving. Remember the stories in Acts 15 & 16? Paul and his companions make plans to go through Asia, but the Holy Spirit stops them. So they try to go via another route, and as they are on their way, Paul has his dream of the man calling from Macedonia. He didn’t sit around and wait for God to say something. He started moving in what he believed was the logical direction, and when God wanted to send him elsewhere, God told him and he listened. It’s always easier to steer a moving vehicle than one that is standing still, and I think that’s the same in our lives, too. God wants us to move: and when we do, if we’re going in the wrong direction, He’ll show us.

4. We need others to recognize our giftings. Paul and Barnabas were both commissioned by the local congregation before they set out. Unfortunately, today’s churches don’t really operate by this model. We don’t send people out to use their gifts; we usually only commission and acknowledge those gifts that are to be used directly in the local church. So if you have a gift of speaking or writing, but that tends to be used outside your church, it’s unlikely people in your church will acknowledge it. They’re not being mean; they’re just caught up in the church, and likely can’t figure out why you don’t want to serve in the nursery.

Most Christian artists, of whatever sort, face this problem. But you do need someone to send you out and confirm gifts in you. What I’d recommend is creating a small group of people who can hold you accountable and pray with you. In my hometown, several Christian women from different churches, all involved in ministry and business outside the church, have been meeting monthly for breakfast for several years now. They recognize giftings in each other and serve as a sounding board. If your church can’t be your sounding board, create another body that can.

5. Verify that You Can Speak in Public. It’s unlikely God is calling you to speak if the thought of getting in front of a microphone makes you want to throw up. We do need talent and giftings in speaking to pursue this ministry. So find a way to confirm that you do have this gift. Ask others for honest feedback. Gauge the audience–or even survey the audience–after giving a talk. Ask them to rate your nervousness on a scale of 1-10. People are often more inclined to rate nervousness than they are speaking skill, because it doesn’t seem as much like a criticism. Most of all, listen to a recording of yourself. That’s where you’ll hear how you sound.

6. Be Diligent About Creating Opportunities. Don’t sit at home and wait for the phone to ring. Put things in place so that if organizers want to hire you, they’ll be able to find you. Have a website. Get started on creating speaking clips. Start a newsletter. Do the smart things to get your name out there, and if God wants, doors will open.

7. Continue to Invest In Yourself. If you feel called to ministry, then you need to learn as much as you can about ministry. Never stop learning! Get whatever training you can get your hands on. Continue pushing the envelope. Never, ever coast on past laurels. Continue to work on skills, and you make yourself a better vehicle for God to use.

If you feel like you’d like to speak, I’d suggest taking these steps. Perhaps nothing will happen after giving it a shot. Then probably God is saying He wants you to devote your energies elsewhere, at least for now. But you will never know unless you try, and it is very unlikely that out of the blue people will start asking you to speak, without any work on your part. Step out in faith, knowing that if God wants to redirect you, He can. And then keep on listening, keep on working, and keep on moving. God will keep you on the right path!

Don’t forget to listen to the show here for lots more information and tips! And remember to subscribe in iTunes! Just look up CWA Radio, and Use Your Words will pop up!