BlogTalkRadio Show: Use Your Words

At noon today EST, come and listen to a FREE BlogTalkRadio show I’m giving, “Use Your Words”!

We’re going to talk marketing today. Is it right to market as a Christian ministry? What does it mean to market your ministry if you’re supposed to be relying on God? What does spreading the word look like?

We’re going to get super-practical, and I hope some of you will call in so that we can chat on the air! Do come by and listen right here!

Noon EST: Use Your Words Blog Talk Radio. How to Market Your Ministry! If you miss it live, click the link to listen after the fact.

And I’m looking for guests, too! Anyone want to share your first speaking experiences? Leave a comment, and I’ll contact you!

Treating Speaking as a Business

Is what we do a business, or is it a ministry?

It’s a constant struggle, isn’t it?

It’s interesting how often Christians see these two things in dichotomy. We think that if it’s a ministry, it can’t make money and we can’t use it to feed our families. It has to be something that we do totally altruistically. Our jobs, on the other hand, are our businesses.

I think this is a false dichotomy, because Jesus never encouraged us to partition off the different pieces of our lives. Whatever we did, we were to do it for Him. So if you speak, you speak for Him. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t make money at it, especially because most of us do need to get an income from somewhere, unless you happen to be blessed with a rich inheritance or something.

Paul is also clear in 1 Corinthians 9:14 where he says: “In the same way, the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should receive their living from the gospel.” Why? Because if we receive our living from it, we’re able to dedicate a lot more time and energy to it. If it’s simply a hobby, or something that we do for free, then we have to spend a lot of time at a different job that actually pays the bills.

Of course there may be times when we speak for free, especially when we’re starting. We have to always be open to the Spirit. But I don’t believe that ministry and business need to be separate. I think ministries work best when they apply sound business principles about getting the word out there, budgeting for marketing, not going into debt, and trying to be sustainable. I have seen many ministries crumble because they focused so much on serving that they weren’t able to sustain it. They spent too much money, gave too much away, and then they burned out.

So this Monday, I want to help you treat your speaking like a business. I don’t think your speaking ministry will grow unless you apply sound, godly business principles. And so I’m hosting a teleseminar at 9pm EST on Treating Speaking Like a Business. We’ll cover:

• Time Management: How do we balance training, speaking, and marketing?
• Online Marketing: What do I need? Who do I talk to? How do I network?
• Fee Schedules: How much do I charge? And how do I bring up the subject?
• Promotional Materials: What do I need? How much should they cost?
• Giving a Professional Air: Helping others take you seriously
• Goal Planning: How can I measure progress?

You won’t want to miss it! I’ll talk for about an hour, and then I’ll take whatever questions you can throw at me! And teleseminars are really easy. You can listen online, where you can also type in questions for me in a chatbox, or you can call in with your phone if you don’t have high speed.

Don’t miss this! It’s only $10, and you will earn that back many times over as you learn how to set fees properly–and market to find bookings that will pay those fees!

To sign up, simply go here. Looking forward to seeing many of you there!

Does Appearance Matter?

We women are ever so sensitive about our appearance, aren’t we?

I do a comedy routine about this at the beginning of most of my talks to make people laugh and warm up to me. It’s easy to laugh about how much emphasis we women put on our appearance, and how silly it all is.

We know we’re more than our appearance. We know there are more important things.

But, that being said, if you’re going to be speaking in front of an audience, does appearance matter?

Yes, I think it does. But not for the reasons that you may think.

I know many speaking bureaus put women through the wringer so that they end up looking almost cookie-cutter, like Barbie dolls, with heels and lots of make-up. I’m not talking about that. But there are some things we have to consider, and so I offer you these thoughts:

1. Authenticity Matters. First and foremost, you must be authentic while you’re up on the podium. If you’re not a lace and eye shadow kind of girl, it’s going to show. So keep this point in mind as you read the rest. I am not asking you to be something that you are not; I am saying that we do need to think about our appearance, though.

2. They Must See Your Emotions. One of the ways that we communicate authenticity and touch people’s hearts is through our facial expressions. When you tell stories, part of that story is not told in words; it’s told in body language, and especially on your face. However, if you’ve ever sat at the back of an auditorium while someone is speaking, how well do you really see their face? That’s why I believe make-up matters. It doesn’t have to be gaudy. It doesn’t even have to have a lot of colour! But make-up that simply enhances what you already have can work wonders at shading your face and making it easier to see your facial expressions, which show up especially in your eyes and your mouth.

If you’re not a make-up person, that’s okay. You don’t have to paint it on. But you can do amazing things with browns and creams and blacks. Many drug stores or department stores offer free makeovers (in the hope that you will buy some makeup). Look around, and talk to the cosmeticians, and see who you think is knowledgeable. Ask some questions. Then ask them to show you how to do your face dramatically, but naturally, so that people can see your facial shape and your eyes from a distance.

It takes a bit of practice, but you can do it. And it makes you ever so much more interesting to look at!

Two last words of advice with make-up: bring powder with you if you have a tendency to get a “shiny” nose or forehead. That looks horrible! And don’t assume that you know what you’re doing. I’ve loved make-up for twenty years, but last week I took my teenage daughter in for a makeover for her birthday and found out I’d been using the wrong colours on my eyes this whole time. She made me look so much better! So don’t hesitate to go in, even just for a refresher course!

3. Dress One Step Above Your Audience. If they’re likely to be in jeans (like at a rustic retreat), where casual khakis with a blouse or a nice sweater. If they’re in casual khakis, where dress pants with a blazer. A skirt isn’t always necessary (though some denominations want it). In general, I tend to speak in pants and a blazer. I have seen people speak in their “prettiest” outfit, like a wispy dress in the summertime. It doesn’t always work that well. Think professional, and business, not necessarily “pretty”. Pretty often is not functional. It may drape a little too much, and you’re always pulling up the straps. It may be difficult to put a microphone on. You don’t want to look like you’re going to a wedding; you want to look like you’re going to a presentation. It’s different.

4. Consider Colour and Pattern. If you are a larger woman, don’t wear a lot of busy pattern. Try for more solid colours. And before you wear too much pattern, ask what the decorations will be like. I once wore a very colourful floral blazer, only to find that the event was also auctioning off five Amish quilts, which were hung behind me. It must have been blinding looking at me. I would have been so much better in a solid colour!

5. Think Big Jewellery. Small necklaces and earrings can’t be seen from a distance. If you don’t believe me, ask a friend to go stand at the podium after a church service, and then go sit in the back row. Take a close look at her. Can you see her jewellery? Can you make out her eyes? If you want to stand out, bigger necklaces and more dramatic jewellery is better. In fact, I like to wear more monotone clothing and then bigger jewellery, because jewellery brightens everything up, and then you’re less likely to clash with the decor.

You may not think you’re particularly attractive. You don’t need to be. But we all can look our best, and when we do look nice, we communicate something to our audience. We say: I have confidence. I respect you, so I took the time to look nice. I believe this is an important event. I have an important message. When you show up without looking like you took much care, you communicate the opposite.

You do not have to look like a Barbie. You do not have to wear colourful make-up or look painted. You don’t have to look like a fashion plate. Just dress your body shape, and shape your face. Wear jewellery that adds interest, and makes you pleasant to look at.

And if you’re still stuck, ask some friends. I LOVE taking friends out to give them makeovers, and chances are you have a friend who would love to help, too! All you need is one good outfit you feel confident in, and some make-up you can put on yourself. Make an investment in quality, and you’ll look more professional, feel more confident, and be more effective.

I am so excited to announce my new teleseminar: Treating Speaking as a Business, coming next Monday February 1! Learn how to set fees, how to produce marketing materials, how to give a professional stage presence, and more! Let me help you grow your business. Learn more here.

Why Many Women’s Events Miss the Mark

Anyone who is involved in women’s ministry in a church today has on her heart the goal to reach people for God, and help move them into a deeper relationship with Him. I have no doubt about that absolutely.

The problem is that the way we go about women’s ministry often works in direct opposition to that goal. For instance, I think that in order for people to journey closer to God, they have to have two things:

1. Deeper friendships with other Christians
2. A chance to respond to God.

Most women’s events work directly against both of those aims, even if they don’t mean to.

I know normally on this blog I speak directly to women’s speakers, but I want to speak about organizing women’s events in this post, because often I find that as a speaker, women’s organizers rely on my advice quite frequently. So you, as the speaker, do often have an opportunity to impact how the event will play out. So let’s talk about what is often WRONG with women’s events.

1. They focus on talking AT you.

Too many events leave no time for any relationship building. They have special music and special features where people are supposed to listen, and then they have to listen to a speaker. Getting an evening away is tough for most women. We want it to be relaxing and rejuvenating. If we’re sitting there, just listening to others, we’re unlikely to feel rejuvenated, because what we most want is to connect with other women. That won’t happen if the whole evening is geared towards talking at us.

Ways around it: Have “hands-on” features where women do something together, like a spa night, a make-your-own wreath event, a craft night, or something. When we do things together, we forge friendships because we can laugh together.

Plan times for people to talk. Leave some free time for mingling or just playing games.

2. Ice breakers don’t focus on actually getting to know people.

Often the point of ice breakers is to have everyone talk to everyone. Not going to work. No one will remember everyone’s name! Instead, focus ice breakers on encouraging 4-6 women to talk about something, so you feel as if you have connected. Ask people to share stories, or do something funny. The most hilarious ice breaker I ever experienced was when 6 women were asked to perform a “synchronized swimming” event–without the water! We were given points for artistry and synchronization. I was at a table with women in their 50s and 60s, and it was still hilarious as we danced around in a circle, waving our arms. We laughed and laughed, and we needed that!

3. Little time is given for personal reflection

Too often, right after the speaker, they bring up a musician, sing one song, and then it’s done. It doesn’t matter how good the speaker was; if that’s the way the event ends, people will not carry the message home.

For a message to make an impact on a person’s life, that person has to OWN the message. They have to think about it. Chew it over. Even talk about it. From a speaker’s standpoint, I have great teaching on how to craft a message so that it invites people to journey towards God. But from an event planner’s standpoint, you can’t leave it entirely up to the speaker. You have to help her out! You have to give her time to direct the audience towards an encounter with God.

That doesn’t necessarily mean an altar call, if that’s not appropriate in a seeker’s service. But it could mean that after the message you give 3 minutes of quiet reflection time, where people can write something on a piece of paper to remind them of what has happened or what they have been thinking about (it’s amazing how writing something down solidifies it in your mind)! You can have people talk about a question for 10-15 minutes. When women talk about something, they internalize it! Or you can pray through several items. But please, give people time to assimilate the message. Don’t just end the message and assume that the women will keep mulling it over for the next week. You have to start the process right away by giving people a chance to respond, either by writing, by praying, or by talking. Own the message, and it will impact them. Hear the message only, and it likely will not.

If you are a speaker, then, and you are asked what you would like the evening to look like, ask the organizers to stress relationship. Give women a chance to talk, and talk meaningfully, with a handful of women. And ask them to give a response time. Discuss with them what type of response time would work best, and how that response time should be organized (and who should run it!). But make sure you talk about it. Closing the evening is actually the most important job, and frequently it’s the one we give the least amount of attention to. We focus on introductions and announcements, and not response. Focus on the response, and you just may find that your event has a much more powerful impact!

Sheila has lots of speaker training available, including a new Teleseminar coming up February 1 on How To Act Professionally in Your Speaking Ministry! We’ll cover setting fees, creating marketing materials, communicating with event organizers, and more! Get up to date information on upcoming training here!

Are You in the Building Phase of Your Ministry?

Are you in the building phase?

Last fall I had contractors working on a new deck and a renovation for our backyard. It was exciting. As the days went by, I could almost visualize what it would eventually look like.

But it was also LOUD. Really loud. It was a pain. And they arrived early in the morning, so I had to be up and dressed much earlier than I’d like. So I was often grumpy.

I think when we’re in the building phase for our speaking ministry something similar happens. We get noise from all sides, everything’s a mess, and we’re not entirely sure if what we’re building is going to match our plans.

That’s when it’s time to take a step back and make sure we have the right tools, we have the right plans (God’s plans)!, and that we’re working in the right order.

I have a dream to train speakers to speak the message God has given them–not just to a Christian audience, but also to seekers to let them hear what God is saying to this generation. I speak a lot, but I can only reach so many. Imagine what God can do with a whole army that is equipped to speak effectively, professionally, and with His power!

I can’t help you get in touch with God; only you can do that through your own personal devotions and prayer. But I hope I can help you build your ministry.

I wrote earlier about the need for excellence, and how we need to take those small engagements. Like it says in Zechariah, “do not despair the day of small things”. Those small things can lead to bigger things!

So what does a building phase look like? Well, let’s go over a few points:

1. You Need a Plan. You need to know what you’re building. Are you trying to be a speaker to mom’s groups? Are you wanting to speak at women’s retreats? Do you want to lead workshops and teach a specific skill? Do you feel a deep calling to urge people back to Christ? Any or all of these things is fine, but we need to know what the main one is! So write out where you think God is calling you as specifically as you can. For example, I would word my own journey this way:

My calling is to urge women to surrender all to Jesus, using humour to engage, and honesty and openness to touch hearts. I talk real life, and give real solutions. No pretensions. Just Jesus.

Now a few years ago I was more specific. I wrote more in there about the fact that I was called to Christian moms. Then I started getting called for retreats in general, and now I find that I can’t specify a niche except “women”, and that’s fine. But when you are starting out, try to define your niche as narrowly as possible. It helps you figure out what speaking engagements you want to focus on, and it helps you identify groups where you want to speak. I talk more about this here.

2. Get to Know Your Niche. If you feel called to speak on a specific skill or practice, like worship or parenting, then get to know your niche. Chances are you’re already familiar with it. You have lots of life experience. But you have to keep up with what’s being said and written and done in that niche right now. So join Twitter and find the groups that talk about that. Seek out these groups on Facebook. Read things on the internet. Keep informed. This also gives you great anecdotes to use when you’re speaking anyway, and the more you participate in these groups online, the more likely that you will get invitations to speak! But don’t rely on your coattails; really study your topic or niche.

3. Seek out Training. When I began speaking, I didn’t get enough training. I assumed that because I was a natural public speaker (and most speakers are) that I’d be able to pull just about anything off. And in general I didn’t do a bad job. But what I didn’t know was how to put together an effective talk. I didn’t realize it wasn’t the same as a presentation I’d give in university or a sermon I’d give at church. It really is quite different.

After about two years of not really going very far with my ministry I took the plunge and went to a speakers’ conference. It was extremely helpful. Even just networking with other people who also speak helped hone my efforts.

However, the whole thing cost me over $1000. And I know most of you don’t have that. I do offer online training that goes over all these basics, and more! You can find my e-courses and teleseminars here. Now, enough said about that. Investigate it if you want to (I know it will help!), but I’ll still write blog posts even if you don’t!

4. Do Lots of Workshops. Don’t be afraid to take some small engagements at the beginning. Let’s say that your niche is speaking to mom’s groups. There are tons of mom conferences around North America! You may want to be a keynote speaker, but that’s hard to do. Getting hired to do a workshop or breakout session, though, is much easier. And as you do these, you become known by the people who organize such conferences (and by a variety of churches). So don’t be afraid to do workshops! Just find something specific in your niche you can talk about! In fact, when you’re starting out, it is strategically better to do a workshop that doesn’t pay as well at a large conference than to do an event at a church. At a workshop, you get people from a whole variety of churches there, so you get more chance to grow word of mouth. God may still nudge you to take the church engagement, but from a purely business standpoint workshops are great for those launching their ministries!

5. Pray. Ask God to show you where He is leading. It’s not always where we think!

6. Be Flexible. You may think you’re heading in one direction, but perhaps God has something else for you. If you begin speaking in a certain niche, and then find that you’re beginning to be asked in another niche, perhaps that’s where you’re supposed to be. So realize that you’re building, but don’t despair if things don’t go as you think they should. Maybe God is just trying to tell you something!

This whole process is messy. You don’t make very much money, and in fact at the beginning you likely cost your family money. Is it worth it? That’s where the prayer and calling come in. The more specifically you can define your calling, the easier it is to measure it and focus your efforts. And then plan a year down the road to re-evaluate. If things aren’t going well, ask yourself, do I need training? Am I in the wrong niche? Do I need to aim for some smaller engagements to build up my skill level? Or ask yourself if this is something that God may be calling you to at a later date, and not right now. Periodically taking stock is important.

But remember that it is tough for the first little while. Building the foundation isn’t glamorous. But it is necessary. Don’t despair if you’re in that position right now. Just build it strong, and then soon you’ll be able to see everything take shape!

To be notified of any future teleseminars or training, just sign up here.

Two Spiritual Roadblocks in Speaking

Today, on “Use Your Words“, my Blog Talk Radio show that airs every Tuesday at noon EST, I was talking about how to spiritually prepare for speaking engagements.

We covered a lot of ground, and I encourage you to listen in here! But I want to highlight two things that were raised. I believe that we have two main spiritual blocks for being used well for God, and they are:

1. Pride

It’s easy to become proud when you speak. People come up to you and say, “you did such a good job!”, or “you were so funny!”. The reason you speak is because you feel like you’re gifted at speaking. You have a gift that others don’t, and that is quite sought after.

But when we’re proud, it’s harder for God to use us because the emphasis is on the wrong thing. It’s not on how God can speak through us; it’s about how we can mesmerize an audience, or make them laugh, or make them cry. Instead of being about how to meditate on Jesus and then share Him with others, it can easily be about how to boost your career, become better known, or make more money.

It is wonderful to have a talent for speaking. But we need to realize that we have that talent and gift because God wants us to use it for Him. And we, on our own, cannot change anyone’s heart. It is God who works the change. He may use as a vehicle, but He is the One who touches hearts. We must always keep that first and foremost in our minds.

When we focus too much on ourselves, and forget that we need God, we don’t do as good a job because we’re not spiritually in the right place. We have to go into every speaking engagement with prayer, humility, and excitement about what God will do, not what we will do. When we’re open to Him, it’s also easier for Him to change our direction, or choose our words differently that might touch others.

But there’s another aspect to pride. I have listened to some big name Christian speakers speak, and I have come away in awe of what they have gone through and accomplished in their lives. But that’s not what we’re supposed to come away with. When people listen to me, I want them to come away with the thought: “is God really enough for me?” I don’t want them to come away with the thought: “Wow, Sheila has gone through so much in her life.” When you focus on you, you can concentrate too much on what you have accomplished, and not enough in what God has done, and in motivating others to pursue God. Tell your story, yes. But don’t make your takeaway about you. Make it a challenge about something they need to do in their lives. Give the focus back to God.

2. Fear

Fear is really a flipside of pride. The reason we’re scared when we speak is that we don’t want to look like an idiot. We’re afraid we’ll get up there and forget our talk, or stutter, or blank, or sneeze, or talk too fast, or whatever. And then we start doubting ourselves: Am I really called to this? Do I have what it takes?

God doesn’t want us to be scared. Perhaps you’re exploring a speaking ministry, and God genuinely hasn’t called you. You’ll figure that out. But if you have felt called, and if you have a burning need to share God’s message, then realize that God will equip you to do so. Don’t second guess yourself. Don’t become paralyzed. Walk forward in faith.

Of course, we should still prepare. God doesn’t want us to forsake preparation and work because we’re relying on Him to come through. He wants us to work, and to write a good talk, and to perfect our stage presence. All of that is important, and the more time we spend perfecting our delivery and practising on smaller audiences, the more we’ll find that fear disappears.

Don’t let fear stop you. All of us are nervous at times; that’s to be expected. Don’t let nervousness stop you from walking forward. Don’t let fear second guess your calling. Instead, if you’re afraid, spend more time praying, but still walk forward as God calls you. Get the training you need and the practice you need, and devote sufficient time for your ministry, and watch Him grow it. Don’t let fear stop you, or you very well may be hindering what He wants to do through you!

If you want more information on speaking training, I have lots available! My teleseminar “Craft Your Signature Talk” is especially relevant in learning how to tell your story while still pointing people to God, and not to you. Read about it here.

A Speaking Plan for 2010

January is a time to think about goals and dreams: what are you planning on accomplishing in 2010?

But there’s a difference between the two, isn’t there? A dream is something that God gives us. The goals are the plans we have to achieve that dream.

Setting Goals

So how do you set realistic goals for your speaking? I want, in this post, to give you a blueprint for setting concrete goals and making a speaking plan for the year. So get out your day planner and a pen or pencil, because we’re going to do some brainstorming!

First, how do you set concrete goals? Say you’re just starting out, and you want to make a realistic goal for the year. What’s realistic?

I tend to take the five year plan: in five years, if you work hard, and if you are called by God, you should be about at your height. You’ll be as busy as you want to be, and you’ll be making some sales. That doesn’t mean you can’t grow from there (you can always get bigger speaking engagements, for instance), but you likely will be as busy as you can manage.

So five years after starting, you should arrive. But let’s say you eventually want to speak for two weekends a month, or 20 times a year. Do you just divide that by five and plan for that this year?

No. In general, people’s speaking ministry grows in fits and starts. The first two years are building years, when you may not seem to get as much done. But then all of a sudden word of mouth will take off and your ministry will grow. So this year, even if you don’t have four, it doesn’t mean you’re not going to reach your 20. I might aim, for instance, for 2 paid speaking engagements and 3 free ones. Pray about something concrete that makes some sense to you.

Planning Action Steps Month by Month

Now, how do you achieve it? Pull out your daytimer and let’s think about this. The first thing you want to fill in, before anything else, is some downtime. That may not make a lot of sense, but I think it’s important for all speakers and writers to have some time during the year when they aren’t marketing or networking, but they’re just seeking God and equipping themselves. Personally, I think the best months for that are January and July and August, since there’s little happening then anyway.

So in January, don’t plan on doing a lot of marketing. Plan on equipping yourself and training yourself. Get some books on speaking. Take my E-course on How to Launch Your Speaking Ministry. Please, don’t go spending $1500 on promotional materials before you take this course! It will save you so much money by showing you where to concentrate your efforts at the beginning to make the most impact for the least amount of money. We need to be strategic about this!

I also have several teleseminars that will really help you, including one on how to Craft a Life Changing Signature Talk. If you’ve ever wondered how to put a talk together, this teleseminar walks you step by step through the process, and you’ll end with a skeleton of a talk that will make a difference in women’s lives!

Now let’s move on. The big speaking times during the year tend to be March-May and September-November. That’s when women’s events happen, retreats are scheduled, and dinners are held. They can occur outside of those times, but those tend to be the busiest seasons in a speaker’s year. It’s important to realize, though, that churches tend to book speakers 6 months to a year in advance. It’s already January, so it’s going to be hard to get some events booked for the spring. Instead, focus in March and April on contacting churches to potentially speak in the fall.

Assuming you’re going to do that in March and April, though, what can you do prepare to contact those churches in February? Why not contact your local Christian radio station with a cute filler they can use for Valentine’s Day? Prepare a “3 Things Women Can Do for Their Husbands”, or “How to Woo Your Husband this Valentine’s Day”. Or you could do a “3 Things Kids can do to Handle Valentine’s Day at School.” Anything that a DJ could read aloud during the busy hours. Type these out on a postcard and send them to the DJs, and sign it like this: “Sheila Gregoire, women’s speaker. Find her at www.sheilawraygregoire.com.” Now you get your name on the air and your website, and people will think of you as a speaker!

You can also spend February and March getting your website ready. Have a web presence so that when churches research you to hire you, there’s something they can look at. Start a blog with some devotions or spiritual thoughts, and include a page with your speaking topics and testimonials.

In May, you can begin contacting some of the women’s Bible studies in your area and ask if you can come and give a 15 minute talk for their final week of Bible study. Many churches are winding down for the season, and they may enjoy more of a social day, hearing you give a quick devotional. Offer to do it for free, and record yourself, and now you have some promotional clips you can use!

In the summer, spend a lot of time praying and working on your talks with the Lord. Ask Him to give you a new vision of Himself, so that you have something to offer.

By the fall, hopefully some of your efforts have paid off and you have a few speaking engagements booked. If you don’t, try writing up a 3-4 sentence blurb churches can use, like “3 Ways to Bless Your Child’s Teacher” or “How to Keep Your Marriage Strong”. Email it to local churches and tell them they’re free to put it in their bulletin as a filler. Make it short, concise, and insightful. Often churches have spaces in their bulletins and they need to fill it up. Sign it as “Sheila Gregoire, local women’s speaker”. Then people will think to contact you if they have something coming up!

In October and November, do the speaking engagements you have booked. And then in November and December, take the recordings from those talks and edit them into video and audio clips. Put 2-3 minute clips on YouTube, and create quick podcasts of some of the rest. We’ll talk more on this blog about how to do that.

And that’s it! There’s your year in a nutshell. By the end of the year, you’ll have a website, a clear, effective talk, recordings of your talks, promotional videos and audio, and some experience under your belt. Here’s the yearly plan again:

January: Equip Yourself. Take some training, including my e-course.
February: Contact your local Christian radio station. Get your website up and running.
March: Continue to work on your website. Contact some churches about speaking in the fall.
April: Network with churches in your area. Network with other speakers. Continue to talk to churches
May-June: Contact churches about doing a free talk for the end of the year women’s Bible study groups
July-August: Spend time with God working on your talks and getting fresh revelation from Him.
September: Prepare your talks. Contact churches you haven’t heard back from. Send out blurbs for church bulletins.
October-November: Give some talks.
November-December: Edit your audio and video and make promotional clips.

That’s it! Happy New Year!

Do you have any other ideas of things to do this year, and in what order? Let me know in the comments!

Do you want to achieve these goals in 2010? Click here for more help!

Incorporating Humor into Your Talk

“She laughed. She cried. She came home changed.”

That’s what we’re aiming for. We want people to come home changed, and that usually means that we need to appeal to different emotions in your talk. I’ve talked before about the different elements that go into a talk, and the ways in which we can plan our talks so that we build towards the one major change that we’re encouraging people to make. (I have a great audio download and handout that walks you through preparing a talk, giving you a skeleton of a talk you only need to flesh out, right here!).

But here’s the issue: if our purpose in talking is to take people through a process where their hearts and ears and minds are open to hear from God, we have to earn their trust. You can’t just start your talk telling people what they need to do differently. They’ll tune you out! You have to instead earn their trust by opening up to them, telling them stories, showing them that they really do have a problem they need to solve, and showing them that you have walked that road, too.

Implicit in that, though, is a bit of humour. It’s hard to get people to bond with you or listen to you unless there is even a little bit of humour involved.

However, I recently received an email from a speaker who was concerned about this. She’s written her talk, but it’s about a very heavy topic. Most people, when they come to hear her, will be aware that that is the topic (think grief, or depression, or mental illness, these sorts of things). You can’t really make that funny, can you? Or should you?

It’s an excellent question, and I want to try to address it.

1. First, let’s re-evaluate what we mean by “funny“. When I’m saying you should add humour, I don’t mean that your talk should thus be a comedy routine. Absolutely not. For instance, a big part of my testimony concerns my son who died. That is not funny. Not in the least. It’s certainly not a comedy routine.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t give people a chance to laugh. You can throw in small anecdotes that make people smile. I tell a story, for instance, about my daughter when she was 3. She was at a playgroup, and she didn’t believe in sharing, and so she’d hoard all the toys she liked in a corner, guarding them. But here’s the point: the whole time she was guarding them, she wasn’t playing with them, either. And we do the same thing in our lives. We’re so busy clutching things because we’re scared God’s going to take them from us that we don’t enjoy them.

It’s only a small story, but it relates to the overall point I’m making. And I act out the story, and it always gets quite a laugh. It’s still making a serious point; but it’s a little more lighthearted.

It doesn’t mean that the talk is a comedy routine; it does mean that you’re adding a few anecdotes every now and then that make people smile.

Movies do that, too. Have you ever noticed that? Whenever there are really heavy points in a movie, there inevitably is something, even if it’s something small, that makes you smile. Often in the saddest movies there will be one character who is just there to add some lightheartedness to an otherwise bleak situation. If the movie didn’t have that kind of comedy release, it would just be too difficult to watch the rest of it. Because we’re able to smile, we’re actually able to take in the depths of the pain and hurt easier. If there are no opportunities to smile, we, as observers, tend to close off our hearts or our emotions, so that we don’t enter too deeply into the darkness. We protect ourselves. Give us a reason to smile, though, and you get through those natural defenses.

So even if your story is very difficult, you can, and should, still add an anecdote every now and then that can make people smile. It isn’t diminishing your story; it’s actually enhancing it. And you can make sure that anecdote still tells the same point.

2. You don’t have to be a comedian to tell a funny story. Telling a joke is very different from telling an anecdote or relaying a story. Some people just can’t tell jokes. I hardly ever tell jokes in my talks, but I am funny. Jokes have little to do with your talk; they’re just there to make people laugh, and they often make audiences uncomfortable. Telling stories, though, makes audiences automatically more comfortable, because they sense that you’re not preaching to them.

To be funny, you just have to find a story that make you laugh. Now practice telling it. Do so in a mirror. I have very precise ways in which I tell stories that I have found worked. Sometimes you have to speed your voice up, sometimes you have to slow down. Sometimes you use body movements, sometimes you stand perfectly still. Humour really is an art that is difficult to teach. You just have to try telling the story several times to see which ways make people laugh the most. Then, when you find that way, tell it exactly the same way every time. It sounds boring, but you get used to it, and then you tell it better.

Here’s one of my humour routines, for instance. This is all leading up to my big point that we feel guilty about stupid things because we’re afraid to let go and let God determine our priorities. It’s three minutes long, but it illustrates what I mean:

I use that same routine pretty much the same way when I speak. But by the end of the talk I’ve become significantly more serious. But I won the audience over with that humour.

If you don’t feel like you’re a natural comedian, don’t worry. You don’t have to make them laugh for twenty minutes straight. Every now and then, just use a few anecdotes that make people smile. It disarms them, so it’s easier for them to listen to the serious stuff.

I have heard people use humour really effectively even when talking about persecution, or depression, or abuse. These things are not funny. But when we show that we can also laugh, we show that God has done a work in our lives. It isn’t negating the pain to add some humour; it’s simply showing people that we have survived, and that God is still there.

If you’re trying to find those anecdotes, often movies or literature provide funny ones. And just check your own life for the things that have made you laugh.

But remember: mixing laughter with the serious stuff helps people take in the deeper message. So do try to include some humour, even if it’s only a little bit. You help everyone listen to you more!

If you want more information on how to include humour, and exactly when to use it in your talk, my audio download “Crafting a Life Changing Signature Talk” can help. Find more information here!.

Considering Cultural Differences When Speaking

I’m cold. Really cold.

I’m just back from a trip to Regina, Saskatchewan, where I spoke 5 times in three days. Four of the events were at one church (two Christmas women’s events and two church services) and then the other was at a second church for a women’s outreach. It was a rewarding time, though I don’t like traveling.

But Regina is cold. Very cold. Minus thirty cold. Those who live there are special people.

As I was there, it occurred to me that I had better review my jokes before I get up there. I say something funny about two Canadian institutions: Tim Horton’s and Swiss Chalet. But I didn’t see any Swiss Chalets when I drove around. Turns around there used to be one, but it closed, so the joke was still safe.

So often we assume that those to whom we’re speaking are just like us, but they’re not. When we speak at marriage conferences, we’re often paired with another couple where the man is a real man’s man. He hunts. He fishes. He kills stuff. And his stories about hunting are side-splittingly funny. He tells them so well. And they illustrate some great points in marriage.

But one conference just happened to occur in Montreal. You don’t talk about hunting in Montreal. He realized that after the first night fell flat, and then changed his talk for the next day.

In the same way, we need to be really sensitive about our audiences. Let me give you another example. I think the biggest difference in Canadian and American audiences is that Canadians don’t see it as a plus to sell yourself. We don’t brag about ourselves; we tend to brag about others. Saying good things about yourself sounds odd.

So, when an American is speaking to a Canadian audience, for example, you should use yourself as an anecdote, for sure, but don’t do “I have arrived, or God has blessed me, and He will bless you, too”. That comes off as bragging and that’s a huge no-no. I see American speakers—even million-selling authors—do this all the time up here in Canada and they lose the whole audience. When you tell your own story, you must do it with humility, and with “here’s what God is still teaching me”, rather than “I’m so glad God taught me this. Now you should learn it, too.” Perhaps that sounds like I’m being mean to Americans, and I don’t mean to be, but in general Canadians are much more low-key about sharing our own successes. And it’s important to know this about your audience if you’re going to communicate effectively.

Another big difference: we’re not as dramatic. Twice I have seen American speakers actually get down on the floor and act out a horrible experience from their past, thrashing around down there and everything. Canadians would NEVER do this. (Note: both these speakers were speaking before audiences of thousands, and were headlining large events up here). When we tell our sad or difficult stories, we tell them quietly. We never act them out. It looks fake.

Where we do get loud and boisterous is in our humorous parts of our stories. So it’s not that we’re monotone; it’s just that adding drama to the difficult parts of life is seen as gauche.

Canadians, when we’re with American audiences, need to learn to turn it up a notch. Americans, when you’re with Canadian audiences (and European ones) need to learn to turn it down.

Speaking is a form of communication. You are saying something that you want others to hear. But communication is a two-way street: you put it out there, but your listeners have to take a hold of it. And that means understanding and researching your niche.

Whenever I speak, I ask who is going to be in the audience. Are they married? Single? A blend? What is their ages? Do they work outside the home? Is it multiculural? Are they mostly Christians, or not? You have to know these things, or your talk may go right over their heads. If I find out, for instance, that many in the audience aren’t married, I will always choose at least one anecdote that has nothing to do with marriage or children, and focuses more on one’s workplace or something.

So know your audience. Don’t assume they are just like you. Make sure you communicate in a way that they understand. And then your message is much more likely to get through!

Figuring Out Social Networking

What is Twitter? And I’m on Facebook–but what’s really the point? I’m sick of people “poking” me and adding things to my “fishtank”.

I hear you. I really do. Is social networking really necessary? And does it help us as we build our speaking ministry?

Well, the quick answer is Yes. And No. Let me explain:

1. We need a web presence

When someone goes to hire a speaker, here’s the usual steps they take. First, they desperately ask everyone they know if anyone has heard of a good speaker in the area. They’re always glad when someone gives a name. But do they email the person? Do they phone them? No, not yet. That comes later. The first thing they do, instead, is either visit their website or Google them.

In other words, they do online research. If you want to be hired to speak, you need a web presence. It’s more important for a speaker than a writer even, because most people won’t hire a speaker unless they have some sort of a connection, or some confirmation that this person is capable, professional, well-known, and confident. Your web presence, then, must show that you are these things.

What do you need for a web presence? A blog is perfectly sufficient, as long as it has a nice picture of you and a list of your speaking topics. WordPress works better than Blogger in this capacity because WordPress allows you to have extra pages, so that you can list your topics, or explain more about yourself.

On a blog you can also share your thoughts. You don’t have to blog about speaking; simply share thoughts that would be relevant to those you are speaking to. For instance, if you want to be hired to speak to moms and tots groups, make sure that you blog about issues relevant to moms with young children at home. If you want to speak to seniors’ groups, blog about these issues. Provide interesting content so that it shows you are actively thinking and engaging about the issues that matter to your target audience.

A web presence can also include Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and LinkedIn. To be hired by a church, Facebook still seems to be key. Twitter, while it’s wonderful for networking, isn’t as widely used for those outside the online world (ie. those who are on women’s committees at churches). Facebook, though, is quite common. Making friends on Facebook, then, and mentioning your new talks that you’re developing, or the places you’re speaking, lets others know what you are up to, and best of all helps others to think of you as a speaker. Update your status frequently to pertain to your speaking ministry, so that when your friends are asked if they know a speaker, they will automatically think of you!

2. Don’t let Social Media Take Over

That being said, social media can too easily replace our speaking efforts. Yes, we need to network. Yes, we need to build a web presence. But we also need to do some good old-fashioned speaking. We need to develop talks, network face to face with those who make decisions in women’s ministry committees, and we need to deliver talks (even free talks) as we’re starting out. If you spend all your time blogging or building friends on Twitter, you may find that you’re popular online, but that popularity doesn’t translate into speaking engagements.

You may end a day feeling productive, because you’ve connected with all kinds of Christian women, and you’re written some very insightful posts, but you haven’t translated that into the real world. Our social networking has to be tied into our real world efforts. It can’t replace it.

If you want to speak face to face, you need to do some face to face events and you need to get to know people face to face. Call up your local Christian radio station and offer to do a quick two minute segment on how to simplify Christmas, or on how to woo your mate this Valentine’s Day. Call up a large church and offer to do a twenty minute talk for their moms’ group to break in the new year. Call up a large church and offer to do a 20 minute inspirational talk for their seniors’ group on how to share your faith. Speak for free for a while, record yourself, and build word of mouth. Collect testimonials.

Then turn around and blog about these events. Post clips of your audio talks online. Put it in your Facebook status. Ask people to sign up for your inspirational newsletter.

Focus your efforts so they overlap and coordinate with real life, not so they replace it. Don’t ever spend so much time online that you have no time to do the real work of speaking.

It’s a tough balance. I struggle with this immensely. But I know God has called me to speak, and that means getting up from my computer occasionally. Maybe it’s time for you to get up, too!

If you want to learn more about building an online community, drawing readers to your blog, or growing key Facebook and Twitter followers, my courses on “Building Your Online Community” are so valuable! Listen in to the teleseminar, complete with a handout, here, or investigate my e-course! The e-course comes with a module that will teach you how to throw an online party for yourself. I did it last February and sold $1200 worth of books in one day! Find out more here.